, , , , , ,

Violet Wood Sorrel (Oxalis violacea) 2

It is no easy task to reassemble a life.  It consumes time, energy, and resources, both mentally and physically.  Sometimes the resources just aren’t there.  We have to find, or create them out of the scraps and shards of what once was.  It’s a long process of weighing what to keep, what  to let go of; and it hurts like hell.  Trying to cut the process short only makes things worse.  Healing is a long, arduous journey;  why do we think people should be better in six weeks, or six months after devastating loss, or a prolonged illness?  Grief typically hits full-force somewhere around six months, and takes most people one to two years to begin to feel really healthy again.  Anniversary dates and holidays seem to start the process all over again.  But gradually, over time, there are more good days than bad days.

In the beginning, the goal was coffee and a shower.  Then, a few household chores. And that was about it, for a while.  Some days, the goal was  getting outside, or making a phone call.  Somewhere along the way, I decided to throw away at least ten things a day.  It didn’t matter if it was ten broken crayons, or ten pieces of paper.  There were setbacks and shutdowns.  Strength, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, is not acquired overnight.  For me, the spiritual had to come first, or there would have been no lasting healing.  The emotional healing is taking a lot longer, but that’s okay.  I’ve learned enough about God over the years  to know that it will come in time.  We only cheat ourselves when we try to rush the process.  Anything worth having in the future must have a good solid foundation that can only be built through the hard work of healing. Removing the old foundation, and starting over; line by line, precept upon precept; daily doing the work of getting up and going at it again, no matter how horribly difficult yesterday was, is the only sure way to build a testimony.

“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?  I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.”  Isaiah 43:18, 19