“Behold, God is my salvation;  I will trust, and not be afraid:  for the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song; he also is become my salvation.”  Isaiah 12:2

I’ve been going to a Boundaries group at our church, and tonight I was reminded again of how many times over the years God has delivered me.  Sometimes deliverance, when it comes, does not look like deliverance.  No banners, trumpets, and white horses; just a great deal of trauma, often accompanied by sirens, flashing lights, and uncomfortable inquiries by well-meaning, but unknown authority figures.

And we find ourselves sitting in bewilderment, much like the people of Israel, wondering how we’re going to provide for our families; where we’re going to live; where is our next meal coming from?  Who is going to take care of us now?  This isn’t deliverance; this is a disaster!  Egypt never looked better.

There is a warning in scripture:   when God has led you out, and life has settled down, and you can breathe again, do not forget where you have been delivered from.  The prayers He answered, for food and safety; the help when wrong counsel was given, to discern, and to know what direction to take.  Sometimes the wilderness is needed, just to get away from all of the opinions and advise of well-meaning but unqualified people.

I have recently been delivered, suddenly and  unwillingly, from another unhealthy situation.  I am admittedly not happy about it, and feel more grief than freedom.  I am sure that in time I will be thankful for this, but right now it just plain hurts.  I’m not feeling especially victorious at the moment, especially because I didn’t choose to get out of the mess,  I was unceremoniously ejected.  Or rather, rejected.  And the old temptation to assume that all of my  needs, physical and emotional, are going to go unmet, is still there.  And I have to remember how many, many times, that God has taken that rejection and used it for good. Not that I want to keep signing up for it, (hence the Boundaries group)  but remembering that I can trust God to take care of me yet again.