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Stacey L. Lacik

~ Common Sense Christian Living

Stacey L. Lacik

Tag Archives: Health

Even If

16 Monday May 2016

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Christian Living, God, Health, strength, stress, Trust

This hasn’t been a good month for blogging. A recent surgery left me with some unexpected complications; my daughter came home from college, depositing the entire contents of her dorm room into my living room, and there’s nowhere to put it all away until fall. It can’t go in the basement because it floods down there when it rains. The power in the house keeps going out, and the drains don’t work well. I saw the landlords at the grocery store when I was buying Draino and told them things were okay over here only to come home to find the lights flashing and the clocks blinking. The beautiful trees that gave us privacy got quite a haircut, and the branches are littering the yard. (The line crew had to cut many of them down, and they’re sending a chipper on Monday to clean it all up). The driver’s side mirror of my car is still in the trunk (I accidentally knocked it off when I pulled up to buy a coffee last year) and the muffler is loud enough to make conversation difficult when driving.

Stress is high and the funds are low; too low, in fact, to meet the needs of the moment: medical bills, car repairs, household items and household bills. The priority is, as always, paying the rent. But rest is also a priority. So is healing. And quiet, which is hard to come by lately. I’m frustrated because I had hoped I would be feeling a lot better by now, but it’s taking awhile. Days are filled with doctor’s appointments and medical tests, and I’m pushing to get it all behind me so I can move on. Writing and studying have taken a backseat to taking care of the crisis of the day. I’m still concerned about the problems in the churches but can’t seem to find the time to sit down and write about it. Seems like every time I sit down I fall asleep lately.

Speaking of which, I am off to bed. I just wanted to check in and leave a note in the midst of this present storm, and hopefully things will right themselves soon. But even if they don’t, I will say along with Habakkuk:

“I WILL rejoice in the Lord, and joy in the God of my salvation,  even if:

The fig tree does not blossom,

The vines do not bear fruit,

The olive crop fails,

The crops in the field fail,

The flock be cut off from the fold, or

The herd be cut off from the stalls.”

(From the six-fold Consecration of Habakkuk 3:17-19)

 

Worried Sick

10 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

anxiety, Bible, Counseling, depression, domestic violence, Faith, God, Health, Pastoral counseling, Single-parent, Soul Healing, stress, Trust

Coming down with pneumonia was not in my plans for this week.  My immune system has tanked again;  it seems that stress is bad for your health, financial stress in particular.  I had to make a choice between paying the rent and paying my daughter’s spring tuition; they are roughly the same amount of money.  If I don’t pay her tuition, she can’t go online and see her grades, and there is a hold on her account, meaning she can’t register for her fall classes next week.  If I pay the tuition, but not the rent, she won’t have a place to come home to at the end of the month.

Running away is not an option, and appears to be the realm of ex-husbands, ex-fathers and irritated pastoral counselors.  But not mothers.  We don’t bail, jump ship, or disappear.  Mothers get a cup of coffee, a Bible, and get alone with God to see what He has to say about the situation.  About us, in our situation.  And what He has to say is “Persevere … remain steadfast … trust, and see the salvation of your God.”  In other words, don’t jump.

So, I paid the rent.  Not all of it, but at least enough to cover April.  I haven’t said anything to my daughter, because I want her to be able to concentrate on her grades, and studying for final exams.  I don’t have a clue what to do next, or what is going to happen now.  The money is gone, and there’s no getting it back.  I’m not even sure I did the right thing;  paying bills lately is akin to shooting arrows at a target while wearing a blindfold.

Every time the phone rings, or I see that there is a phone message, I think it’s the landlords saying we have to go, or National Grid saying they’re shutting off the utilities, or the school, demanding payment.  I try not to answer phone calls unless I’m sure of who it is.  I have a hard time looking at my bank accounts without feeling sick, nervous, or nauseated.  I have so much apprehension about going to the mailbox that some days I just don’t.  There is rarely anything good in there. Most of it is anxiety-provoking demands for money that I don’t have.

I am the queen of avoidance.

When my daughter came home for Easter last week, her acceptance for nursing school came in the mail, and she was so excited.  I am so proud of her, and didn’t say a word about the fact that I don’t know how we’re going to pay even for this semester that hasn’t ended yet.  She can’t just suddenly stop in the middle of her junior year of college. Those who are unfamiliar with the dynamics of domestic violence say that I should just ‘make’ her father pay for her schooling.  Well, wouldn’t that be lovely.

So here we stand.  I don’t know how it will all work out, I just have to believe that it will.  Pneumonia isn’t fun, but it will clear up.  I have a modicum of faith.

But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.  James 1:4

Life with Asthma

13 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Asthma, Christian Living, Conditions and Diseases, Emergency department, God, Health, Homer, Physician, Respiratory Disorders

The Doctor, by Sir Luke Fildes (1891)

The Doctor, by Sir Luke Fildes (1891) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had another doctors’ appointment today.  The receptionist smiled at me, asked for my name, and then told me I don’t have an appointment.  (She, or someone from that office, had called to confirm it a couple of days ago.)  I quite clearly could not breathe, having spent the morning trying to empty a flooded basement, and she continued to smile, and nod, and cut me off every time I managed to get out a word. She simply would not let me finish a sentence.  I finally walked away to use an inhaler, and then went back to the desk.

“I……..have……appointment.”  I feel like idiot.

“Still can’t breathe?”  More smiling, more nodding.

“I found the problem.  You were put in the schedule as a ‘mystery patient’.

Can’t talk, laugh, or breathe, at this point, and am hoping maybe a doctor, or nurse, or even a slightly observant maintenance person comes along, possibly carrying oxygen.  Nope.  After several more moments of trying to get out one word at a time in between all the smiling and nodding and cutting me off, a friend who works there shows up, finds a nurse, and gets me in to see a doctor quickly.  When I am rich and famous, I will buy her a small gift.  Maybe a new car, or something.

Anyway, the doctor, who apparently can’t recognize an asthma attack when he sees one (for this he paid for medical school?)  also began to talk over me, through me, and at me, and cut me off every time I tried to talk.  He then stated that I apparently can’t breathe  (I could quite literally die laughing at this point, except that I was trying not to cry) and since that’s not what I was there for (it was supposed to be a routine follow-up for a sinus infection, that I had last year) he decided to leave the room, since he didn’t know what to do.  Oh, and I had called over a week ago to see if I could get in quickly, because I cannot seem  to open my mouth wide enough to eat without dislocating my jaw. I didn’t want to go to an emergency room  if I could just get in to see a doctor.  Soon.  Because I’m hungry.

I should have gone to the emergency room.

As I was trying to talk to the doctor, he suddenly decided to leave the room, because he didn’t know what to do.  As I was motioning for him to stay, I had one of those split-brain moments of “Really?  Patient can’t breathe, and doctor doesn’t know what to do, so he decides to leave the room.”  I am sure that someday this will all be hysterically funny, but at the moment, the room is spinning.

One of my daughters wants to be a nurse.  She is as frustrated (disgusted, really) with the lack of good, common-sense health care as I am, and has all those young adult dreams of getting a degree and changing the system.  I had the same hopes and dreams, two degrees and three jobs ago, and realized that They don’t want the system changed.  They just want you to do your job, sign out and go home.  And come back and do it again tomorrow.  If you’ve read Homer, you know that there is only one real way to change a system, and it’s not Top Down.  They can’t be bothered, and that’s true whether it’s a business, a university, or a church.

Anyway, back to the story.

The nurse manages to get the doctor to come back in the room because, after all, it is him that I am trying to talk to, but he looks terrified, poor little man.  I finally leave with an appointment for tomorrow morning at Crouse Physical Therapy for my jaw problem (God bless the nurse) and he’s sure that I just have TMJ (Gee, you think?  I grind my teeth when I’m awake) but never offers a breathing treatment, or anything for the asthma.  Or, for that matter, my sinuses, which he forgets to look at or inquire about.

Inhale.  God is faithful.  Exhale.  God is good.

So, for those of you with an asthma sufferer in your life, please, for God’s sake:

Note the signs of ‘unable to breathe’:  this includes odd gasping sounds, hand to chest, odd mouth movements (these would be words) or obvious signs of dizziness, sweating, accompanied by a slightly panicky look in the eyes.  These all mean “I need air.”  Fainting generally means “I need air quickly.”

If the person is trying to talk, and you know that they have asthma, please let them finish a sentence before you jump in with questions, or run off on a tangent.  Long breaks between words do not necessarily signify the end of a sentence, it means I am inhaling so I can finish what I’m saying.  Cutting me off means I have to start over.  With even less air.  Combine this with the fact that it usually takes me awhile just to form a complete thought (under normal circumstances) and we could be here awhile.  Use your common sense.  If it sounds like an incomplete sentence, it probably is.  Wait.

I’m not high-maintenance.  Really.  Just stressed.  Can you tell?

Okay, back to cleaning up the basement.  Thanks for listening.

 

Just A Thought

24 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Christian Living, God, Health

The famous set of columns from the Roman Forum...

Image via Wikipedia

The enemy always attacks a birth or a death.  He doesn’t care too much about the in-between because we mess that up pretty good on our own.  Grief and loss drive us to our knees faster than complacency does;  the initial excitement of birthing anything, whether it’s a baby, a business, or a ministry wakes us up and wipes the apathy out of our eyes, at least in the beginning.  Several sleepless months, or years later, and we’re pretty much zombified and harmless.  We run on coffee and anxiety.

Define your dreams;  write them down, and live intentional lives, but know this: once you begin this process, if you are serious at all, the enemy will also organize a counter-attack to keep that which is forming in the spiritual realm from coming into fruition in the natural realm.  And should we persevere and prosper, he will attack whatever is birthed and pursue it all the way to the wilderness.  Stay focused.  If deception doesn’t work, he will try dissention;  if that doesn’t work, he will use distraction.  His ultimate goal is always destruction.  You are God‘s answer to the enemy.

“This one step – choosing a goal and sticking to it – changes everything.”   Scott Reed.

Thoughts on a Recent Post

14 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Abuse, Christian Living, Christianity, God, Health, Mental health, Pastoral counseling, Religion and Spirituality, Spiritual abuse

Pastoral Paradise

(Photo credit: satosphere)

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my experiences with pastoral counseling, and how it all ended.  I would have to say that while I wrote about conflict of interest and confidentiality issues, what really ended my counseling was the counselor’s inability to control her temper.  Why I let someone control and label me to the extent that I did is an issue I need to examine for myself, but suffice it to say that this person controlled my life for ten years.  And for ten years I lived within the limits of that definition;  what basically amounted to the opinion of one person.  Just one person.

In some ways, I am still living with the residue of that relationship;  a lot of hurt, grief and confusion.  About who I am, who God is, and how He sees me.  This is why scripture says that “to whom much is given, much is required”.  When we are called to stand in the office of pastor, or teacher, we have a tremendous amount of influence.  Whether we want that much power or not, it is inherent in the relationship, and to deny that is to create situations where the elephant is in the room, but we just talk around it.

In many ways, this person functioned as an abusive parent, as most leaders with an anger problem do.  In my case, they took the place vacated by an abusive husband. I don’t know that I was in a position to see it in the beginning, and would probably have been too tired to care at that point.  And, like most abusive relationships, it wasn’t obvious in the beginning.  Confusing, but not obvious.  The problem with both is trying to figure out if I am messing up God’s plan for my life by leaving.  In the end, I didn’t have to figure it out, as both of them left me anyway.

There is a teaching series on spiritual abuse in the bookstore at church.  I listened to all of it, carefully, and was discouraged to find that it really has little or nothing to do with spiritual abuse, but is instead a discourse on proper attitudes towards leadership.   There is no mention of the abuse of power and authority, which is what spiritual abuse is.  There is no practical suggestion for how to deal with an abusive leader, nor is there any structure in place in our church for getting help.  “Touch not mine anointed”  is our version of “Don’t ask; Don’t tell.”

Leaders are human.  Like everyone else, they have tempers, good days, bad days, family issues, health problems and financial concerns.  They will, sometimes, completely fall short of their calling.  And we get the brunt of that in relationship with them.  I have never met a church member or client, myself included, who couldn’t forgive much when there is a sincere apology, and acknowledgment of wrong-doing.

I have to drive by my counselor’s office quite often, as I am running kids where they need to go, or going to get groceries.  There is always a car there;  she hasn’t died, or fallen off the planet.  She is still meeting with clients;  many of them friends of mine.  The whole thing is surreal.  And I’m realizing there will never be an apology.  There will never be an effort to make amends.  My stuff is still all in her office;  everything is, on the surface, as it always was.  Except that everyone can go there, including my friends, and get ‘help’ but I can’t. She isn’t speaking to me.  This blog hasn’t helped, as she was talking to me, until she read it.

Trusting God to help me with this has done a lot to keep me moving forward, but has in no way lessened the pain of it all.  I don’t really know what else to do.  I know that I don’t want any more angry people in my life, and I certainly will not pay someone to define and label me, ever again.

Grief

28 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Tags

God, Grief, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Health, Kübler-Ross model, Mental health

English: Hillside with grieving sheep

English (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Grief is difficult.  There is no “right” way to grieve;  the process is an individual one, and the stages of grief are messy.  It’s unpredictable.  Fine one minute, crying in Target the next.  And it does not get better with time.   It would be great if we really could forget trauma;  the reality is that we don’t.  We go over and over an event, a sentence, trying to figure things out, or make sense of things that do not make any sense at all.

Trauma gets re-enacted, in a desperate and usually unconscious effort to get a different outcome.  This person will not leave.  This person will not reject me.  Until they do.  And we relive our personal nightmares all over again.  We are left with memories and fragments of conversations that will forever remain unfinished;  sentences dangling in eternity.  Weren’t we just having coffee?  Weren’t we going to do such-and-such?  This week?  The silence is deafening.

God holds our hearts;  if He didn’t, we couldn’t exist after loss.  When we’re grieving, performance and productivity are not options.  If we’re lucky, we breathe.  But we don’t forget.  We do not ever forget.  It would be nice to have a memory eraser.  Just for an afternoon.  Mornings and weekends are the most difficult for those dealing with depression;  I read this somewhere.  I don’t know that I can say it’s true;  everything in between is difficult, to me.  Make coffee;  breathe.  Put laundry in.  Breathe again.  Take shower.  Now what?  Oh, yeah.  Breathe.

And pray.  God help me to get through today, because I don’t know how.  I have friends who are grieving today;  the loss of loved ones, whether through divorce, or death.  Many of them far greater losses than mine.  Why God made us capable of caring so much for people, I don’t know.  But we do.

And while we’re grieving, life happens. It continues.  We watch from the sidelines, and wonder.  Some days, we put our toe in the water.  Too cold;  not today.  Maybe tomorrow.  Some days we forget, for a moment, and laugh.  A blessed moment.  Some days are better than others, in that we are stronger.  We lean heavily on the arm of God, but we walk forward.  Partly because life demands it;  bills have to be paid, car repairs have to be made.  Today we’re driving my daughter up to see her boyfriend at college.  It should be a good day.

“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness….”    `Isaiah 41:10

Does God Care?

14 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Christ, Christian Living, Church, God, Grief, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Health, Mental health, religion, Spirituality

Bird

(Photo credit: Dave Williss)

I have lost my heart for writing lately.  An unexpected turn of events has left me feeling like I maybe should just not do this.  Any of it. Someone I care about read my blog, and was hurt by it. So I have gone through each post and tried to clean it up, and delete things that could be taken personally, but well aware in the process that I am once again deleting myself.  It’s difficult.

My Aunt went into the hospital on Thursday;  she needs a pacemaker to regulate her heartbeat.  I was thinking this morning that I wish I could have an emotional pacemaker for when things are overwhelming, and the world is scary.  So that when a relationship ends, I could continue to function without being blindsided by grief.  But that’s not how life works.  Loss hurts.

I went to church Friday evening;  the worst part (for me) is when the ushers try to seat you.  A very severe lady told me to “follow her” and I thought, oh, sweetheart, that’s not how this works.  I held back, and sat in the back row, as I always do, which visibly irritates them.  Only I can manage my anxiety in church, and angry ushers do not help. She was not happy.

I had a client once who said that he had tried to go to church, and he really liked it, except that when it came time for the offering, the ushers closed and locked the doors into the hallway.  And this particular client also suffers from severe anxiety.  He was never able to go back;  psychologically, he understood why they would do that (the church is in the city) but physiologically, he just couldn’t do it again.  I felt so bad for him.  Our church also has locked doors;  ropes, and people who shut you out, or trap you in hallways when you only meant to go to the ladies room quickly and get back in your seat before the whole room was sitting down.  I leave church exhausted.  And sad.  A lot of anxiety, and a lot of grief.  I wonder what God thinks as He observes all of this, done in His name? To inspire worship of Him?  To help us to see Him reflected in the lives of those who serve Him?  Because I don’t see it, not much, anyway.  I see organizational chaos. A lot of Very Important People running around with their headsets, and beepers, and pagers, very impressed with their roles and titles, but not really having a clue what they’re doing.  Or what they’re doing to people. Does God care?

Grief is a horrible, horrible feeling.  I am overwhelmed with it this week, and can’t write much.  A pacemaker would help.  My heart also beats too slowly sometimes, like my aunt.  My emotional heart also beats slowly, and sometimes bottoms out completely.  I have a meeting at church in an hour.  There was a wonderful gentleman who took my application for the Life Teams;  when he asked why I have not been involved in church, I accidentally blurted out “Because they do not want me.” And he threw his head back and laughed.  No, really;  that was the message left on my answering machine.  But I laughed too.  And said I want to be involved, and I do, my nerves don’t, and is there a place for me where nobody can see me?  I just want to help people;  to love those who hurt like I do, and tell them it’s okay.  It is all going to be okay.  They will be okay.  Time does not heal everything.  All healing takes time.  Some things will not heal, not in this lifetime.  Grief does not get better;  gone is, well, gone.  No therapy technique can fix a broken relationship, or heal a loss.  Only God can.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness….”   ~II Corinthians 12:9

Creating Room for Growth

21 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Arts, Bible, Business, Colleges and Departments, Dictionary, Education, God, Health, John C. Maxwell, Religion and Spirituality, success, Ted Engstrom, United States, Zondervan

 

Sunday Morning.

Sunday Morning. (Photo credit: meg_williams)

In the current issue of Success magazine, publisher Darren Hardy (www.success.com) describes how his wife approaches  interior design.  First, she takes everything out of the room.  Then she adds back only what is necessary and what fits, and what is needed becomes evident in the process.  The analogy is made by the publisher that this process works not only in interior design, but in business, and in our personal lives.  When redesigning your life:  take everything out, and then put back only what you actually need and want.  (This is best done on paper first.)

Why is it that when we are blindsided by crisis, our dreams and visions seem to grow exponentially?  I think it’s because of the space the crisis provides:  it wipes the slate clean, and as long as there is a good foundation, a whole new life can be rebuilt.   When things fall apart, take the opportunity to examine your life, and what you were doing.  Was there anything of value? What elements do you want to keep?  What do you never want to do again?  Unless you are living an intentional life, you will unintentionally recreate the same mess you were in before.

In the same issue of the magazine, John C. Maxwell discusses how he decided years ago to implement two qualities, being intentional, and being consistent, and how this has led to success in his own life. We tend to keep adding to our lives in a frenzied attempt to look for what is missing;  what we don’t do is take out what isn’t working, or isn’t necessary so we can get a better look at what we actually have.  We have untapped resources and opportunities already built into our daily lives that we don’t take advantage of because we can’t see them.  We are emotional hoarders of relationships and activities that no longer serve a purpose.

This is what it looks like in practice:  We go to church and hear the Pastor speak on how we as a church are not ready.  We leave the church parking lot blessed and highly motivated, and full of good intentions.    On the way home, we stop to get the Sunday paper, put gas in the car,  go to Wegman’s to buy food for lunch, or go out to eat with friends and/or family; maybe run to the mall, or throw in some laundry, do the dishes,  and watch television.  The next morning, we wake up late, get ready, run out the door, and get sucked back into another day  of mindless, unfruitful activity.

Unless we intentionally put our bottoms in a chair, and sit down with a Bible, a notebook, a pen, and at the very least a dictionary, it is just not going to happen.   I happen to like to study;  I listen to motivational teaching, or messages from church in the car; I have stacks of books by my bed, and I’m always studying or researching some topic, even when I’m not in school.  I carry notebooks, pens, highlighters, because it’s fun for me.  I realize it’s not for everybody, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be intentional in your own way about studying the Word.

At some point over the next twenty-four hours, take out a blank sheet of paper.  Draw a circle in the middle;  this represents you.  Now draw lines extending from the circle to smaller circles, and label them with the parts of your life that are necessary;  these will be specific and different for different people.  Most people will have circles labeled with family, work, friends, church, school, or whatever pertains to their own lives.  Those are the circles you need to examine;  the work you do, the classes you are taking (or not taking)  the church you attend;  the friends and associates you claim as your own.  What you are basically doing is taking inventory.  Now get another sheet of blank paper.  Put you in the middle.  Now, only put the circles back that are necessary, or that you actually want in your life.  And each smaller circle will have only the people, or activities you actually want and need for you own health and well-being.  What gets left out?  Or who?  I recently got a new cell phone;  the only names I put in immediately were my parents and my daughters.  I am gradually adding other family members, and have added a couple of close friends, but when I looked at the contact list on the old phone, I realized I don’t want to add all those numbers.  Too much stress, too much noise;  too many distractions.  So I will be very careful about what I add.  Same thing with work;  being out of a job is like having a clean slate.  I’m still a counselor;  still a writer;  still an educator, but in terms of a paycheck,  my  options are open.  Intentional living means we create space for growth in our lives;  sometimes life does it for us, whether we intended to or not.  Either way, it’s an opportunity.

“Now is the time to develop new habits, new goals, and new perspectives that will give your life a quality that will bring honor to the God who loved you so much that He gave His life for you.”   ~ Ted W. Engstrom  The Pursuit of Excellence  (Zondervan, 1982)

 

Speaking the Truth in Love

20 Wednesday Oct 2010

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Christ, Christia, Christian, Christianity, Common Sense Christian Counsel, Denominations, Ephesus, God, Health, Holy Spirit, HolySpirit, Jesu, Jesus, Lord, NLT, Paul, Reality, Religion and Spirituality

 

 

the Stainned Gless of depicting the Holy Spirit.

Image via Wikipedia

Truth should always be spoken in love.  Sometimes our intentions are misunderstood, and sometimes we do not understand our own motives for saying things.  Spiritual maturity is about being able to hear what someone is saying, and sifting it through the truth we know about ourselves, and then asking the Holy Spirit to reveal what we don’t know.  God is not out to humiliate, or embarrass us. We have to learn to take these situations and lay them out before the Lord and admit that we don’t know what to do.  Words that are spoken cannot be unspoken.  The most difficult thing to do is to go back and say “I’m sorry”.   When we have reacted by over-spiritualizing something, it’s even more difficult.  Most of the time we’re not being attacked  by demons, but by consequences.  A hard thing to admit, when our reputations are at stake.  Sometimes, truth hurts.  But healing is not possible unless truth is spoken in love.  This is the value in counseling.  If someone has known a great deal of harshness and unkindness in their life, it can be a tremendously restorative experience to have a person who treats you with love and respect.  A good counselor models the love of God to their clients, and teaches by example what grace and mercy look like in relationship.

So, where does that leave us?  For starters, let’s be gentle, kind, and forgiving with each other.  In his letter to the Ephesian church, Paul encouraged the new believers to speak the truth in love, for the express purpose of becoming more like Christ.  He said:  “Then we will no longer be immature like children.”  When we have a problem with another believer, we should go to them privately, and speak to them in a way that encourages growth and healing.  Children react defensively.  Not every situation is a ‘win-win’ situation, and contrary to popular opinion, this shouldn’t be our goal.  Love is.   Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let go of your need to be right;  to say, “You know what, I’ve hurt you, and I didn’t mean to.  I’m so sorry.  What can I do to make this right?”  Think of how many problems in the church could be avoided if love was our primary goal.  Right thinking may be accomplished by Truth alone, but no true soul healing occurs without love, in or outside of the church.

“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”  -Ephesians 4:15 NLT

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“…but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead…” Philippians 3:13

17 Wednesday Mar 2010

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Christ, Christian, Common Sense Christian Counsel, Death, Epistle to the Philippians, God, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Health, Jesus

Salix caprea

Image via Wikipedia

The enemy always attacks a birth and a death.  If God is ‘birthing’ something in you, know that the enemy will do whatever he can to distract, discourage, defeat, and disarm you.  The enemy is strategic, and so you should be when it comes to protecting that which is growing and maturing inside of you.

A death for the Christian is always a new beginning- and this is why satan attacks  whatever dreams, hopes, and plans we abandon, or die to, in order to give all that we are, have, and hope to be to God.  We have a tendency to cling and hold tightly to that which is dead, or dying in our lives; the permanence of letting go causes grief, depression, and soul-pain beyond that which we feel we can bear.

But, as my daughter pointed out to me awhile ago, “you can’t go forward if you’re always looking backwards!” Be honest with God- ask for His help; letting go emotionally is a process.  So is emotional healing.  It happens over time, not overnight.

So, what are you holding on to?  What is God asking you to let go of?

"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you truly believe." -Gustave Flaubert

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