(This page is currently being modified, so the content will change periodically)
I began this blog in the spring of 2010 thinking it would be a good way to practice writing. I have a degree in Human Services (Community Counseling) from Onondaga Community College and a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work from Syracuse University. I have also had additional training in domestic violence advocacy and counseling survivors of sexual assault and abuse. My original intent, when I graduated from high school was to go to Bible College and major in Pastoral Counseling and Marriage and Family Therapy. I wasn’t able to go to Bible College however, and so I ended up staying at home and going to Onondaga Community College. Not too long into the first semester at OCC, everything came to a grinding halt. In the fall of 1984, I attempted suicide. This was a horrendous experience, that took a very long time to recover from. Looking back, I realize I needed help for depression and anxiety, but at the time, there was too much pressure to get a job and go to school, neither of which was really possible for me. I did not have a good counselor, or a mentor; my suicide attempt made me determined to never deal with the mental health community again (funny how things turn out) and I decided I was going to do it alone; just me, God, and my Bible.
In the spring of 1985 I began dating someone I met in a B.A.S.I.C. (Brothers and Sisters in Christ) group at school. I thought (because he said so) that he was going to be a minister. We drove all the way out to Central Bible College in Springfield Missouri, where we spent a week sitting in on classes, and staying with friends in their on-campus apartment. For the first time in a long time I was happy. On the way home, my husband informed me that he was going to go to CBC, and I was going to have to go to work to pay for it. He was not going to spend money on my degree, because women can’t be ministers, so there was no point in wasting money on my classes. My depression was unmanageable when we got home. The first few years of our marriage were horrible. Not only that, but years of endomitriosis made it difficult, if not impossible, for me to have children. Three years after we were married, I had surgery, and was able to have my first daughter, and five years after that (and a horrible year-long experience with experimental drugs) I had my second daughter. My Bible College dreams were over as far as I was concerned. The only thing left was to be the best homemaker/wife/mother I could be, and be as involved in the church as was possible. I ended up leading a Missionettes group (kind of like Girl Scouts, but Christian) in the basement of Solvay Assembly of God, thinking “Really God? This is it? After all my dreams of teaching, and writing, and counseling, and preparing for ministry by studying the Word, and different cultures, and languages, this is all I’m allowed to do?” I did, however, absolutely love being a mother, and those years when my girls were little was the best time of my life. My marriage, on the other hand, was a huge mistake. It took me a long time to realize that it had all fallen apart while I was raising and teaching my girls at home. I know that my daughters are a tangible manifestation of the grace of God in my life, but I will never know what would have been had I not made the decision to marry someone who was not as committed to Christ, or to me.
In 2003 , we were divorced after spending five long years in and out of court, and trying to get help from the church. As well-meaning as my church at the time was (for the most part) they were not equipped to deal with issues like domestic violence, adultery, grief or trauma.
The intent of this blog is to take everything I have learned along the way and use it for the Glory of God, and the good of others. God does not waste anything; He takes all of it; the good and the bad, and uses it for His purposes and our benefit. I am not a licensed therapist, nor am I an ordained minister. I have, however, seen how God can heal, guide, and deliver in the darkest of circumstances, and the most impossible situations. He is and always will be faithful; He is my Rock and my Fortress, my Deliverer, and the One I trust, and He alone knows where this path will lead.
“Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God, and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6,7 (Amplified)