Stability

30 Saturday Oct 2010

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“And there shall be stability in your times, and abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge; the reverent fear and worship of the Lord is your treasure and His.”              Isaiah 33:6

What is stability?  It is defined as “the strength to stand or endure”.  To be stable is to be “fixed, steadfast, and firmly established, steady in purpose; firm in resolution.”

One of the definitions I like is “designed so as to develop forces that restore the original condition when disturbed from a condition of equilibrium or steady motion.”  (Webster’s)

No matter what happens in our lives, the Word assures us that we can be restored to a place of stability; that we can have an unshakable peace in the midst of any storm or trial, and that everything will work out for our good.  God is in control.  It helps if we have already developed a habit of reading, studying, and turning to God, because then we have a place to be restored to.  We may have momentary  feelings of fear, doubt and insecurity, but if we have learned to go to God, and turn to the Word as our source of help, we can develop an atmosphere of stability in our homes that will help not only ourselves, but others.  There is something comforting about a person who remains calm and undisturbed in any circumstance.

Even though Isaiah 33 is referring to the Millennium to come, I believe that we can know the reality of having stability in our personal lives today.   The Word of God assures us that we can have a place of rest and safety within us, no matter what is going on around us.  We have to learn to live from the inside out; to develop a habit of perpetual peace and trust in God, and then reflect that to those in the world around us.  In that way, we become a beacon of light, leading others to trust in God.  In the midst of chaos, we can be stable, fixed, and unshaken; rooted and grounded in the Word of God.

“Thank you, heavenly Father, for the ways You guard, surround and protect us.  Thank you for the assurance of Your help and wisdom.  Help us to remain stable and confident in You, trusting in your goodness and your great love for us.”

Speaking the Truth in Love

20 Wednesday Oct 2010

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Truth should always be spoken in love.  Sometimes our intentions are misunderstood, and sometimes we do not understand our own motives for saying things.  Spiritual maturity is about being able to hear what someone is saying, and sifting it through the truth we know about ourselves, and then asking the Holy Spirit to reveal what we don’t know.  God is not out to humiliate, or embarrass us. We have to learn to take these situations and lay them out before the Lord and admit that we don’t know what to do.  Words that are spoken cannot be unspoken.  The most difficult thing to do is to go back and say “I’m sorry”.   When we have reacted by over-spiritualizing something, it’s even more difficult.  Most of the time we’re not being attacked  by demons, but by consequences.  A hard thing to admit, when our reputations are at stake.  Sometimes, truth hurts.  But healing is not possible unless truth is spoken in love.  This is the value in counseling.  If someone has known a great deal of harshness and unkindness in their life, it can be a tremendously restorative experience to have a person who treats you with love and respect.  A good counselor models the love of God to their clients, and teaches by example what grace and mercy look like in relationship.

So, where does that leave us?  For starters, let’s be gentle, kind, and forgiving with each other.  In his letter to the Ephesian church, Paul encouraged the new believers to speak the truth in love, for the express purpose of becoming more like Christ.  He said:  “Then we will no longer be immature like children.”  When we have a problem with another believer, we should go to them privately, and speak to them in a way that encourages growth and healing.  Children react defensively.  Not every situation is a ‘win-win’ situation, and contrary to popular opinion, this shouldn’t be our goal.  Love is.   Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let go of your need to be right;  to say, “You know what, I’ve hurt you, and I didn’t mean to.  I’m so sorry.  What can I do to make this right?”  Think of how many problems in the church could be avoided if love was our primary goal.  Right thinking may be accomplished by Truth alone, but no true soul healing occurs without love, in or outside of the church.

“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”  -Ephesians 4:15 NLT

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Pressing Toward the Goal…

17 Sunday Oct 2010

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“Remember, we’re not running this course for our benefit, we’re running this course because it’s our assignment.  This is what we’re supposed to be doing.  How we feel about it is irrelevant.  It’s what we have been called to do.  You were apprehended for a purpose.”

I don’t remember where I read this, but I do remember when.  It was during a time of great pain and confusion, when all I had to hold on to was the fact that God knew me and loved me anyway.  It wasn’t a warm, fuzzy time of “Let’s praise God and pretend everything’s okay.”  It was a time of “I may get through all of this battle-scarred and blood-covered, but by the Grace of God, I will get through.  And I will still be standing, even if I’m standing alone.”

Vision is great, but sometimes all we really want is air and water.  There were times I did not think I would make it;  times when it seemed like every demon in hell was after me.  But sometimes, this is where our assignment takes us- straight into hell.  Whether or not we have a purpose is the last thing on our mind in a time of crisis.  Trauma trumps everything.  Except God.

“Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 3:13,14

“In Quietness and Confidence Shall be Your Strength…”

11 Monday Oct 2010

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Being a single parent is hard.  Being a divorced woman in the church is equally hard.  Some of the things said about you are laughable, some decidedly not.  All of it makes the whole experience as exhausting as being in an abusive marriage in the first place.

Most of what we go through, we will go through alone.  Private pain is exactly that- private.  There are some places even those who love us cannot go with us; sometimes we have to pull away from all of the other voices and wait to hear from God.  It is so important to know how to hear the voice of God for ourselves, or we will be easily deceived and led astray. Deception can so mirror truth that without a sure knowledge of the Word of God, we become confused and unsure of whose voice to follow.

Only God truly sees and knows what we go through, how we think, and why we do what we do.  The best counselor cannot go home with us; doesn’t see the myriad struggles we face, or hear the crying we do when there is no one there.  Only God.  But always, God.

The Light that Shineth in Darkness…

28 Tuesday Sep 2010

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For the first time since the end of my marriage, I have had a chance to stop and examine everything that has happened over the last ten years.  None of this is what I wanted, or expected, but God has been faithful, and everything the enemy meant for destruction, God has used for good.  I never expected to be a single-parent; but I also could not have foreseen having an Associate’s degree, or a Bachelor’s degree.  For the first time, I have the freedom to write, teach, counsel and mentor women to my heart’s content.  There has been a great deal of pain and grief, but there is a light at the end that shines brighter and brighter, and the path is beginning to open up to possibilities that were unimaginable ten years ago, or even five years ago.  God never wastes anything; He takes all of it- the good and the bad- and uses it for His intended purpose, and the light that shines out of the darkness is all the brighter for the fire.  And the treasure that comes forth is the light of lives changed, and restored beyond all that we could ask or think.

It’s All Good…

25 Sunday Jul 2010

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So, I’m thinking that it may be time to get things in order and really begin to focus on what the next stage of my life is about.  All I know is that it will have three pillars, so to speak:  writing, teaching, and counseling.  And through these three avenues, God will weave a ministry that will be about healing, growth, and restoration.  Don’t have a name for it, yet, but I’m going to start with the writing first. I still have three more classes at Syracuse University, and then I’m not sure what happens after that.  I may get my Master’s there, or I may go on to Bible college.  I have no idea.  But, as the kids would say, it’s all good.

I’ll keep you posted- keep me in your prayers!

Because God Loves Me…

16 Friday Apr 2010

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I Corinthians 13:4-8

Because God loves me He is slow to lose patience with me.

Because God loves me, He takes the circumstances in my life and uses them in a constructive way for my growth.

Because God loves me, He does not need to treat me as an object to be possessed and manipulated.

Because God loves me, He has no need to impress me with how great and powerful He is because He is God, nor does He belittle me as His child in order to show me how important He is.

Because God loves me, He is for me.  He wants to see me mature and develop in His love.

Because God loves me, He does not send down His wrath on every little mistake I make, of which there are many.

Because God loves me, He does not keep score of all my sins, and then beat me over the head with them whenever He gets the chance.

Because God loves me, He is deeply grieved when I do not walk in the ways that please Him, because he sees this as evidence that I don’t trust Him and love Him as I should.

Because God loves me, He rejoices when I experience His power and strength and stand up under the pressures of life for His Name’s sake.

Because God loves me He keeps on working patiently with me even when I feel like giving up, and can’t see why He doesn’t give up on me, too.

Because God loves me, He keeps on trusting me when at times I don’t even trust myself.

Because God loves me, He never says “there is no hope for you”; rather, He patiently works with me, loves me, and disciplines me in such a way that it is hard for me to understand the depth of His concern for me.

Because God loves me, He never forsakes me even though many of my friends might.

Because God loves me, He stands with me when I have reached the rock bottom of despair; when I see the real me and compare that with His righteousness, holiness, beauty and love.  It is at a moment like this that I can really believe that God loves me.

Yes, the greatest of all gifts is God’s perfect love!

(Dick Dickinson, Inter Community Counseling Center, Long Beach, California)