• My Story in a Nutshell
  • Resources
  • Traumatic Stress Recovery of CNY

Stacey L. Lacik

~ Common Sense Christian Counsel

Stacey L. Lacik

Tag Archives: Anne Fadiman

Not – Like – Me

09 Saturday Jun 2012

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Anne Fadiman, Common Sense Christian Counsel, Early Christianity, God, Hmong people, Holy Spirit, Mental health, Prayer, United States

 

Barend Cornelis Koekkoek - Landschap bij opkom...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood.”  -Acts 20:28

This was a difficult week.  I was told I had to discharge a woman for ‘non-compliance’ with program rules.   The actual problem has little to do with non-compliance, and a lot to do with cultural and language barriers.  I have cried with and prayed for this woman, who has  shared her whole life story with me in a crazy mix of Spanish and English.  We have laughed a lot.  She loves God and His Word with all of her heart, in spite of her struggles with addiction.

I read an excellent book for an anthropology class a few years ago.  It’s called “The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down:  A Hmong Child, Her American Doctors, and the Collision of Two Cultures”  by Anne Fadiman.  It’s a wonderfully written story about a Hmong refugee family who’s youngest daughter is born an epileptic.  The author does a masterful job of telling the experiences this family has with the American medical system, and how the most well-meaning and qualified professionals were frustrated, trying to get the girl’s parents to comply with their recommendations. Like our relationship with God, trust provides the foundation for both life-change and compliance. (Obedience.)

In our desperate attempts to make people follow the rules and fit into our boxes, we sacrifice excellent patient care on the altar of “The Program”.  I hate it.  I’m an employer’s worst nightmare, because I question and examine everything.  I’m not a great counselor, but I am a realistic one.  I hate that my diagnosis of you is based on how much you are Not-Like-Me.

I also make a lot of mistakes.  Sometimes it’s because I’m tired, and sometimes it’s because I don’t feel I really know what I’m doing, or what is expected of me.  Charts, forms, summaries and reports pile up because I never know which box to check.  Just because a client hasn’t ‘made progress’ according to the little boxes, doesn’t mean they haven’t made any progress.  There are no boxes to check for most of the changes these people are trying so desperately to make.

I was sitting in a staff meeting (I hate staff meetings) a short time after starting this job.  While listening to the director and the other counselors discuss and dismiss the people who come to us for help,  I suddenly realized that this is how I have been discussed in other people’s staff meetings.  And just as suddenly, I was overwhelmed with shame, embarrassment, and fear.  While going through the most confusing and terrifying times in my life, professionals and church leaders have dissected my mental and emotional health, my internal motivation for change (“She really must not want help”) my mental stability, and potential for change.  Basically, “is she worth our time and effort, and what possible value could someone like her have?”

Years ago, while going through my divorce (a period of time during which I was admittedly unstable emotionally – in my opinion, a sign of mental health, given the circumstances)  I was talking to a woman who was known as a prophetess in our church.  Because she had prayed for me several times and God had used her in a powerful way to minister to me, I looked up to her and trusted her opinion.  While standing at the altar one day after service, she made the following statement:  “No matter what everyone else says about you, God told me to never give up on you.”  The implication being that she continued to talk with and pray for me in spite of the fact that the leaders in the church had already said there was no hope for me.  (Come to think of it, I never did find out what they were hoping for.) Anyway, I learned something that day:  prophets and teachers, like everyone else, are both subject to and influenced by what used to be called gossip.  I also learned  that just because someone has a prophetic gift and anointing, does not mean that everything that comes out of their mouth is a direct word from God.  Whether they stand in the office of prophet, pastor, or teacher, they are still human beings, and much of their counsel is filtered through the grid of their own experience and understanding.  Where God holds me responsible is to know the difference:  to take what is said to me by others, and lay it out before the Lord alone to sift, weigh and measure.  And somewhere in that, healing happens.  So does growth, and real, long-term life-change.

So what does this mean in practice?  It means that unless I read and study the Word for myself, I am subject to the opinions of others. It means that I will be double-minded, confused and unsteady; “driven with the wind and tossed” as James writes in his letter to the early church.  What a word-picture, because that’s exactly what it feels like!

So, I’m off to work to finish up notes and summaries.  God, help me to remember that these little boxes represent people (“sheep”- who need prayer, protection and guidance.) These statistics and regulations do not take note of death, divorce, grief, suffering, shame, embarrassment and fear.  They also don’t take note of strengths, value, progress, and there is absolutely no place to write “Does this person have any eternal hope and value, and what is my God-ordained role in their life?”  And please help me to not get fired.  Amen.

Okay, the coffee pot is empty.   Have a blessed and productive day, people.

 

"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you truly believe." -Gustave Flaubert

Calendar

May 2022
S M T W T F S
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
« Mar    

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 279 other followers

Topics

View Stacey L. Lacik's profile on LinkedIn

Share This Blog

Bookmark and Share

Social

  • View @sllacik’s profile on Twitter
  • View sllacik’s profile on Instagram
  • View sllacik’s profile on Pinterest
  • View staceylacik@gmail.com’s profile on LinkedIn
  • View staceylacik@gmail.com’s profile on Google+

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets
Follow Stacey L. Lacik on WordPress.com

Categories

  • The Journey

Blog Pages

  • My Story in a Nutshell
  • Resources
  • Traumatic Stress Recovery of CNY

Recent Comments

John on When Pigs Fly
Memoryvictim on Have We Lost Our Minds?
Stacey on Have We Lost Our Minds?
Memoryvictim on Have We Lost Our Minds?
Stacey on Have We Lost Our Minds?
"Judge each day not by the harvest you reap but by the seeds you plant." -Robert Louis Stevenson

Google Translator

Visitors

Flags Around the World

Flag Counter
Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be shepherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood. Acts 20:28

Blog Stats

  • 23,826 hits

Pages

  • My Story in a Nutshell
  • Resources
  • Traumatic Stress Recovery of CNY

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com
  • RSS - Posts
  • RSS - Comments

Recent Tweets

  • LIFETIME ACCESS to the Christian Writers Institute – The Cecil Murphey Scholarship Fund christianwritersinstitute.com/giveaways/ceci… via @cwritersinst 1 year ago
  • Leader of False Theology Movement Likens Trump to Elijah at Values Voters Summit | Susan Wright patheos.com/blogs/susanwri… 1 year ago
  • We need a little Christmas Giveaway! #giveaway #win kingsumo.com/g/gr8nmu/we-ne… 1 year ago
Follow @sllacik

Recent Posts

  • Variations On A Theme
  • Happy New Year
  • Unsettled
  • A Season of Changes
  • A Wing and a Prayer

Top Posts & Pages

Traumatic Stress Recovery of CNY
Variations On A Theme
Happy New Year
Unsettled

Top Clicks

  • None

Goodreads

Domestic Violence

National Center for PTSD homepage

Amazon Associates Store

  • Stacey's Amazon Associates Store Shop Amazon Associates

Blogroll

  • Finding Balance A Christian organization dedicated to those who struggle with eating disorders and body image.
  • Une Petite Folie

Retail Therapy

Shop Amazon Outlet - Clearance, Markdowns and Overstock Deals
Follow this blog

Hours & Info

Syracuse, N.Y.

Tags

Agnes Sanford Anorexia anxiety Bethel Bible Business Christ Christian Christianity Christian Living Christmas Church common sense Common Sense Christian Counsel Counseling Counseling and Psychotherapy counselor deliverance depression Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Divorce domestic violence DSM-5 Elijah Ephesus Epistle to the Philippians Faith False Memory Syndrome False Teaching Family Gift God Grace Grief Grief Loss and Bereavement Healing Health HolySpirit Holy Spirit Home Homer Hope Inner Healing Jesus Leadership Lord marriage Medicaid Mental health Old Testament Pastor Pastoral counseling Paul Peace Prayer Reality Recovered Memories relationship Religion and Spirituality Single-parent Sorrow Soul Healing SOZO Spirit Spiritual warfare stress Syracuse New York Syracuse University Therapy The Search for Significance Thought Tree Trust United States Word

My Photos

IMG_50211230773907
SAM_3704
2622250318074
SAM_0551
SAM_3670
4824210325698

Blogs I Follow

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Inspired by Life ... and Fiction

Novelists bound by the pen, sisterhood, & more

My Only Comfort

Traumatic Stress Recovery of CNY

Faith-Based Crisis Counseling

Rooftops & Rafters

Bethel Redding in the UK

Apologetics Index

Apologetics Research Resources on religious movements, cults, sects, world religions and related issues

NACSW

A Vital Christian Presence in Social Work

A Cry For Justice

Awakening the Evangelical Church to Domestic Violence and Abuse in its Midst

CHRISTian poetry ~ by deborah ann

Glory To God

The Word For Life

2 Timothy 3:16-17

Connecting Outside The Camp

Hebrews 13:13

DestinyHighway.com

DRIVE YOUR VISION.

Which Jesus Do You Follow?

2 Cor 11:4 For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear {this} beautifully.

LifeCoach4God

ENCOURAGING YOU IN CHRIST CENTERED LIVING!

The Narrowing Path

walking together in truth and love.

andwearpearls

m'kayla's korner

Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness. Luke 11:35

Emma Kayne

The Department of Designs

Berean Research

"Guard Yourselves in Steadfast Truth!"

Revolutionary Faith

Taking back Christianity

NAMI Syracuse

A Better Understanding

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Follow Following
    • Stacey L. Lacik
    • Join 279 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Stacey L. Lacik
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...