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Stacey Lacik

~ Common Sense Christian Living

Stacey Lacik

Tag Archives: Christian Living

Straight Paths

13 Wednesday Feb 2013

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Christ, Christian Living, Christianity, God, HolySpirit, Paul

English: The path here is nicely improved A bo...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs.  Mark out a straight path for your feet.  Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong.”  Hebrews 12:12-13 

We are called to  live holy lives for God‘s glory, our benefit, and to help others.  Hard to do when you’re tired.  And shaky.  And you just don’t feel like it.  Don’t want to get up, stand up, start out on the path again, or deal with others. Anybody.  (Unless they’re bringing you a fresh cup of coffee.)

To ‘mark out a straight path for your feet’ means to live (as John Maxwell says) an intentional life.  To decide where you’re going, what you are and are not going to do today.  Who will you spend time with?  Do you even know what path you’re on?  The people you spend time with are largely determined by the places you decide to go, or not go.  Do you know where you want to end up?

Things happen;  life happens.  And it seems to take an awful lot of energy some days to walk this thing out.

I joined a gym in December because the orthopedic surgeon said I need to go;  swimming and Pilates are the best exercises for Scoliosis and arthritis.  I have yet to go.  I won’t feel better until I do, but most days I don’t feel well enough to actually get in the car and drive there.  (And there are people there etc., etc.)

This isn’t at all what this verse is talking about, I don’t think, but it certainly is one way to apply it.  When Paul wrote this letter to the Hebrew Christians, he was encouraging them to lead intentional lives.  Do you know we are supposed to have followers? That people should be able to look at us and say “So that is what a normal Christian life looks like.”  We’re supposed to set an example.

As one of the women said last night “Even if we go forward crying, and still in pain, we go forward.”  So true.  God isn’t looking for a dressed up and shiny package of smiling, bubble-headed believers who have it all together.  He looks at our hearts:  our desire, and willingness to follow Him, and live life differently than the people around us.

I stopped trying to make my daughters go to youth group  when I saw the direction the group was headed.  They were only investing in the kids who looked like they had it all together;  (mostly kids whose parents were leaders in the church) and who had all the outward trappings of what the world would call “leadership potential”.  I didn’t want my kids to learn that kind of Christianity.  My kids have been through hell, and will enter Heaven triumphant, victorious, and strong.  They know how to do warfare.

One night, in the middle of the divorce years, I had a dream.  I was in a large open field, which I understood to be a battle field.  My daughters were standing in the middle of this field, and I watched as my oldest daughter helped her little sister put on her armor, and then put on her own.  Then they each picked up a sword and a shield, and slowly turned to me and said “Okay mom, we’re ready”.  And I woke up.

They struggle, as young adults, to lead lives that are holy.  To know that they are called, but some days just don’t feel like it.  So do I.  We cannot do this on our own strength;  without the help of the Holy Spirit, it just won’t happen.  Life can be just too overwhelming.  If I’m doing this, then I’m neglecting that;  between college applications, financial aid, scholarship forms and deadlines, it’s hard to remember people.  The worries and cares of this world are just that;  once this journey is over, we leave it all behind.  We enter heaven blood-stained, tear-stained, and covered with the dirt of our own personal battles.  But oh, when we get there ….. to hear “Well done, good and faithful servant”.  To be welcomed with open arms and know that we’re safe, loved, forgiven.

It will be worth it all.

Just A Thought

24 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Christian Living, God, Health

The famous set of columns from the Roman Forum...

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The enemy always attacks a birth or a death.  He doesn’t care too much about the in-between because we mess that up pretty good on our own.  Grief and loss drive us to our knees faster than complacency does;  the initial excitement of birthing anything, whether it’s a baby, a business, or a ministry wakes us up and wipes the apathy out of our eyes, at least in the beginning.  Several sleepless months, or years later, and we’re pretty much zombified and harmless.  We run on coffee and anxiety.

Define your dreams;  write them down, and live intentional lives, but know this: once you begin this process, if you are serious at all, the enemy will also organize a counter-attack to keep that which is forming in the spiritual realm from coming into fruition in the natural realm.  And should we persevere and prosper, he will attack whatever is birthed and pursue it all the way to the wilderness.  Stay focused.  If deception doesn’t work, he will try dissention;  if that doesn’t work, he will use distraction.  His ultimate goal is always destruction.  You are God‘s answer to the enemy.

“This one step – choosing a goal and sticking to it – changes everything.”   Scott Reed.

New Year, Old Mindset

10 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Christ, Christian Living, Christianity, Disciple (Christianity), God, Holy Spirit, Jesus

Jesus Discourses with His Disciples

Jesus Discourses with His Disciples (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The holidays were difficult this year;  kind of happy-sad.  The last month has been an emotional roller-coaster.  And I don’t like roller-coasters.  And to top it all off, my grandfather passed away this week, before we could go to see him and take him his Christmas gifts.  None of it feels real, and probably won’t until the funeral, or shortly after.  But I am sad.  We didn’t have a family Christmas, either, this year, due to bad weather.  So I have a house full of uneaten cookies, and gifts not given, and a heart full of memories not made.

I was shopping in a local garden center several weeks before Christmas, and an ornament on a tree caught my eye.  I have always thought that the verse in Luke read “peace on earth and goodwill to all men.”  (Because Charles Schultz said so.  Ask Linus.)  On this ornament, however, it read “Peace on earth, and goodwill to those on whom God‘s favor rests.”  And right there, standing in the store, I thought, wow.  The obvious implication being that there are those on whom God’s favor does not rest.

What does it look like to have the favor of God resting on you?  On me?  What would my life look like?  What does favor even mean?  Somehow I resist the idea that it means (as we are taught) shiny new cars in the driveway, and miles of granite counter-tops in the kitchen; closets full of name-brand clothing and expensive trips in luxury hotels.

So where does the favor of God rest?  On whom?

I took a Discipleship class several years ago at our church.  I was so excited to take this class, as I had heard such good things about it.  Somehow, by the time I got to it, the course had been changed, and had little to do with discipleship as taught by Christ Himself.  He trained His disciples to go and change the world.  We train them to make us look good as a church, and protect our highly vulnerable reputations.

Another church I went to in the past required us to go out into the community as part of our counselor training.  We had to attend AA meetings, and actually go to the Department of Social Services, and report on what we observed.  Before we were allowed to minister to anyone.

As counselors, we are called to stand in the gap.  Much as the Holy Spirit does for us, as our advocate, and helper.  We are called to be people-helpers.  To ‘go about and do good.’  This is what Jesus modeled for the original disciples.  He spent time alone in prayer, and then touched lives.  It wasn’t about Him, or His ‘platform’.  The disciples were not his ‘staff’ enlisted to promote and protect Him.  They were students;  followers learning how to lead.  Going to the people, not being ushered away from them by a group of trained bouncers.  We have turned from wanting the favor of God on our lives to wanting the favor of The Pastors on our lives.  And in all honesty, those who get caught up in this do it largely because the lifestyles they’ve become accustomed to are underwritten by the church.

This is not what I want.  It never was.

I drove through a housing development last week, looking at all of the beautiful houses, and the lights and decorations, and had a small pity-party for myself that I am no longer welcome in the houses of some of these leaders.  But it’s not what I want.  It’s not what I am here for;  not what I am called to.  I haven’t been through hell just to sit and bask in the reflected glory of the few who know how to stir emotions and reward allegiance to the Vision.

Somehow I see Christ Himself pulling away.  Did people follow Him?  Of course.  In Mark chapter two, we see Him getting up early and going away to deserted places to be alone with God.  And the disciples also got up, and followed Him.  “Don’t you know everyone is looking for you?  Hurry up, Jesus, you have a ministry to run.  What are you doing way out here alone?  Come on.  The media are here, and they want pictures.  Maybe you could get a few shots with some of the kids.  Then we’ll take you out for lunch and then maybe do a book-signing for all those who bought your latest book.”

Is it just coincidence that the word favor has  largely been replaced by the word status in our culture?

What is it we really want?

Something to think about before we make all of our well-intentioned resolutions.

Thoughts on a Recent Post

14 Friday Dec 2012

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Abuse, Christian Living, Christianity, God, Health, Mental health, Pastoral counseling, Religion and Spirituality, Spiritual abuse

Pastoral Paradise

(Photo credit: satosphere)

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my experiences with pastoral counseling, and how it all ended.  I would have to say that while I wrote about conflict of interest and confidentiality issues, what really ended my counseling was the counselor’s inability to control her temper.  Why I let someone control and label me to the extent that I did is an issue I need to examine for myself, but suffice it to say that this person controlled my life for ten years.  And for ten years I lived within the limits of that definition;  what basically amounted to the opinion of one person.  Just one person.

In some ways, I am still living with the residue of that relationship;  a lot of hurt, grief and confusion.  About who I am, who God is, and how He sees me.  This is why scripture says that “to whom much is given, much is required”.  When we are called to stand in the office of pastor, or teacher, we have a tremendous amount of influence.  Whether we want that much power or not, it is inherent in the relationship, and to deny that is to create situations where the elephant is in the room, but we just talk around it.

In many ways, this person functioned as an abusive parent, as most leaders with an anger problem do.  In my case, they took the place vacated by an abusive husband. I don’t know that I was in a position to see it in the beginning, and would probably have been too tired to care at that point.  And, like most abusive relationships, it wasn’t obvious in the beginning.  Confusing, but not obvious.  The problem with both is trying to figure out if I am messing up God’s plan for my life by leaving.  In the end, I didn’t have to figure it out, as both of them left me anyway.

There is a teaching series on spiritual abuse in the bookstore at church.  I listened to all of it, carefully, and was discouraged to find that it really has little or nothing to do with spiritual abuse, but is instead a discourse on proper attitudes towards leadership.   There is no mention of the abuse of power and authority, which is what spiritual abuse is.  There is no practical suggestion for how to deal with an abusive leader, nor is there any structure in place in our church for getting help.  “Touch not mine anointed”  is our version of “Don’t ask; Don’t tell.”

Leaders are human.  Like everyone else, they have tempers, good days, bad days, family issues, health problems and financial concerns.  They will, sometimes, completely fall short of their calling.  And we get the brunt of that in relationship with them.  I have never met a church member or client, myself included, who couldn’t forgive much when there is a sincere apology, and acknowledgment of wrong-doing.

I have to drive by my counselor’s office quite often, as I am running kids where they need to go, or going to get groceries.  There is always a car there;  she hasn’t died, or fallen off the planet.  She is still meeting with clients;  many of them friends of mine.  The whole thing is surreal.  And I’m realizing there will never be an apology.  There will never be an effort to make amends.  My stuff is still all in her office;  everything is, on the surface, as it always was.  Except that everyone can go there, including my friends, and get ‘help’ but I can’t. She isn’t speaking to me.  This blog hasn’t helped, as she was talking to me, until she read it.

Trusting God to help me with this has done a lot to keep me moving forward, but has in no way lessened the pain of it all.  I don’t really know what else to do.  I know that I don’t want any more angry people in my life, and I certainly will not pay someone to define and label me, ever again.

All Roads [Do Not] Lead to Rome

03 Monday Dec 2012

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Christ, Christian, Christian Living, God, Kingdom of God, Syracuse University, United Nations

Syracuse University - Hall of Languages

Syracuse University – Hall of Languages (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I went to a graduation ceremony up at Syracuse University tonight.  One of the speakers discussed the current state of the United Nations.  She also spoke about our individual responsibility to support this new global citizenship currently overtaking our world.  I was particularly interested, because Pastor Carter spoke on the same topic Friday night in his message on The Mystery of Lawlessness.  He discussed current worldviews, and the coming globalization of the economy and religious ideology, as pertaining to the end times, and the second coming of Christ.  The text was taken from II Thessalonians, chapter 2, regarding the events that will precede the return of the Lord to the earth.  There is more to this teaching than I can go into at this hour, but I would encourage anyone who missed it to get the CD and listen to it;  preferably with a notebook handy.

In the book The Second Coming of Christ, Yogananda said, “In titling this work The Second Coming of Christ, I am not referring to a literal return of Jesus to earth. He came two thousand years ago and, after imparting a universal path to God’s kingdom, was crucified and resurrected; his reappearance to the masses now is not necessary for the fulfillment of his teachings. What is necessary is for the cosmic wisdom and divine perception of Jesus to speak again through each one’s own experience and understanding of the infinite Christ Consciousness that was incarnate in Jesus. That will be his true Second Coming.”

There are many, many people who believe this today.  People who believe that in the ever-increasing improvement of the Self is the answer to their deep-rooted dissatisfaction with themselves.  This is what we’re up against as Christians;  how do we answer those who have educated themselves into oblivion when it comes to eternal truths regarding the nature of Christ, and the Word of God?  That all religions are not the same, and we do not all serve the same God?
While I was driving around campus trying to find a parking place, I passed (several times)  a man holding a huge sign that read  “Are you Ready?”  He was leaning against the wall of a building, and looked exhausted;  he certainly didn’t look ready for anything, much less the second coming of Christ.
Jesus will return to earth;  quite literally, as prophesied in the Bible.  Study to show yourself approved.  We are called to do two things as Christians:  defend the Truth, and overcome evil with good.  In the days to come, deception will so mirror truth, that even Christians will be easily confused if they don’t know the Word.  Satan seeks to build strongholds in our minds;  this way he can influence a culture, and ultimately the world.  Many well-meaning people have rejected the Truth of the Bible for the lies of world religions;  swayed by the seemingly innocuous teachings of kindness and tolerance.  Today’s thought leaders and gurus are tomorrows’ Antichrist, in spirit if not in person.  The fact is, someone will be, and Jesus will not be his assistant.  On the contrary, Jesus will triumph over him. (II Thessalonians 2:8)  And I intend to be ready.
“Sanctify them by the Truth, for Your Word is Truth.”  ~ John 17:17

The Prison Epistles: Ephesians

17 Saturday Nov 2012

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Asia, Christ, Christian Living, Ephesus, Epistle to the Ephesians, God, Paul, Roman Empire

Ephesus

Ephesus (Photo credit: Rol1000)

In most of his letters to the early church, Paul begins with doctrine and ends with the practical application of doctrine in the lives of believers.  Paul was “an apostle of Jesus Christ“.  The Greek word apostolos means to be a delegate;  one sent with the full power of attorney.  It means to act in the place of another, the sender remaining behind to back up the one sent.  In the case of Christians, it means that God sends us to do what he Himself would do in our place.

There are two categories of knowledge:  pure, or theoretical (doctrine) and
applied, which is practical.  For example,  in his letter to the Ephesians, chapters 1-3 deal with doctrine (the calling of the church) and chapters 4-5 deal with application (the conduct of the church).  This letter was addressed to the saints in Ephesus.  The Greek word for saint is hagiois, or “the Holy ones”;  those set apart for God’s own use.   It is the essence of what it means to live as a Christian;  a follower of Christ.

Paul was in prison when he wrote this letter, sometime around 60 A.D.  He was under guard in rental quarters in Rome (Acts 28:30) and the letter was delivered to the church by Tychicus.  At the time, Ephesus was the leading center of the Roman Empire;  Paul stayed there for three years on his third missionary journey.  It was the capital city of the province of Asia.

Paul taught that the Jewish and gentile believers are one in Christ, to be demonstrated by love for one another.  He encourages them to love both God and their fellow saints in Christ.  Agape is the Greek word for love as a noun;  agapao is the verb form.  Paul uses both in his letters;  agape being the love of God (as in ‘God is love‘ and agapeo being how that love is expressed through the lives of the saints.) There is also a third Greek word for love: phileo, or the love between people, but here Paul is primarily dealing with the application of doctrine, the foundation of which is the love of God in us and through us.  Paul’s focus was on maintaining unity within the church.

This letter begins and ends with love;  it was most likely a ‘circular letter’ meaning that while it was written to the saints in Ephesus, it was most likely passed around to the other churches as encouragement to love each other, and as a reminder to establish churches that were not based on rules and structure alone, but churches where the love of God was to be manifested to the people through the lives of the saints.

Fast forward several thousand years.  Paul is under house arrest, somewhere on the outskirts of the city of Syracuse.  Tychicus is sitting with him;  the two men are having coffee and Paul is listening intently to the report of the churches.  He is disturbed by something that Tychicus is saying:  “There is a teaching going around in Syracuse, Paul, that in order to love others you must first love yourself, as though it is doctrine.  The people have focused on this, and their activities seem to include reading a lot on self-love, and attending groups to learn how to love themselves.”  Tychicus sits in silence as the Paul lowers his head into his hands, and sits silently.  After a time of deep thought, he lifts his head and says “Please bring me my pen.”  Pouring another cup of coffee for himself and his guest, he sits down and begins writing.  “To the Church in East Syracuse…..to the Church on Erie Boulevard….  To the Church in the Valley….”

This has been my study for today;  I haven’t written much this week, because of illness in the family, and some other personal issues.  I have been doing a lot of thinking, reading and studying. And soul-searching.  I worked for a time at the Salvation Army, which functions as a church, but from my observations, does not act like The Church.  An employee said to me once “I was taught how to manage these people, and I have tried to do exactly what I was taught.  You are different;  you actually love these people.”  This is what Paul was trying to tell the church leaders.  My own church has this same problem;  they are very good at managing people, not so good at loving them.  I have heard, however, that they are trying to change this, which is good.  Time will tell.

In the meantime, lets not wait for those in positions of leadership to exemplify love to those in and out of the church.  Maybe it is our turn to set the example.

“It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things.”  ~Machiavelli

The Formative Years

20 Saturday Oct 2012

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anxiety, Christian Living, depression, Pastoral counseling, spiritual formation

Robin againI have been reading James Wilhoits’ book Spiritual Formation as if the Church Mattered this week.  Our private lives matter to God, and to the Great Cloud of Witnesses cheering us along on our journey.  It’s not about being legalistic (God forbid that we should ever do anything out of a sense of “this is right, and good, and needs to be done immediately”) but about bringing stability and order to our lives.  We live from the inside out.  In all of our trials and tribulations, we forget to maintain discipline in our private lives.  A long time ago, one of the ministers at our church told me that he thought I was very strong spiritually, but very fragile emotionally.  I have never heard a more accurate description of me.

Looking back on ten years of therapy, I can honestly say that much of it was a performance.  Not out of any desire to be dishonest, but out of a knowing that saying the wrong thing could result in suddenly being told I can’t come back next week.  Which is, of course, exactly what happened in the end. And just like that, the one constant in my life was upended;  knowing that “This is what I do on Wednesdays”  and looking forward to having a quiet, private place to go and discuss all the things that can’t be discussed with co-workers, fellow students, or other church members was suddenly over.   I don’t have a husband;  counseling replaced that in a way.  Being a single parent is lonely and hard.  I think every woman going through a divorce should have a counselor;  it doesn’t have to be psychotherapy.  I chose pastoral counseling, because that’s what I wanted, and it was important to me.  I wanted someone who was first and foremost a minister, because I knew that more than anything else, I needed healing.  But regardless, without counseling, the tendency for  women after divorce is to treat our children like more like roommates, and expect them to meet emotional needs that should be met by an adult.

I did better in counseling, in that I was able to keep a job, and go to school.  I needed the help with anxiety, and someone to talk to about depression.  Life has been hell for the last two years, and it doesn’t look as if the situation is going to be resolved any time soon, as I had hoped. But I am tired of ‘deleting myself’.  I did that in my marriage, I did that in my counseling, and there doesn’t seem to be any point in doing it any longer, as both ended anyway. Performing to please people doesn’t work.  I heard someone talk once on the difference between being a peacemaker, and being a peacekeeper.  I think I tend to confuse the two.  I like peace;  I’m not fond of chaos, and discord, and noise.  Being a writer suits me;  so does counseling and ministry.  Counseling that honored and encouraged that would have been healing.  But, I tried.  I can honestly say I have never tried harder in my life.  Something to think about, but now I have to go and pick up my daughter so she can go and help her father and his girlfriend paint their new house.

Have a Blessed day, people.

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever.”  ~John 14:16

Does God Care?

14 Sunday Oct 2012

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Christ, Christian Living, Church, God, Grief, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Health, Mental health, religion, Spirituality

Bird

(Photo credit: Dave Williss)

I have lost my heart for writing lately.  An unexpected turn of events has left me feeling like I maybe should just not do this.  Any of it. Someone I care about read my blog, and was hurt by it. So I have gone through each post and tried to clean it up, and delete things that could be taken personally, but well aware in the process that I am once again deleting myself.  It’s difficult.

My Aunt went into the hospital on Thursday;  she needs a pacemaker to regulate her heartbeat.  I was thinking this morning that I wish I could have an emotional pacemaker for when things are overwhelming, and the world is scary.  So that when a relationship ends, I could continue to function without being blindsided by grief.  But that’s not how life works.  Loss hurts.

I went to church Friday evening;  the worst part (for me) is when the ushers try to seat you.  A very severe lady told me to “follow her” and I thought, oh, sweetheart, that’s not how this works.  I held back, and sat in the back row, as I always do, which visibly irritates them.  Only I can manage my anxiety in church, and angry ushers do not help. She was not happy.

I had a client once who said that he had tried to go to church, and he really liked it, except that when it came time for the offering, the ushers closed and locked the doors into the hallway.  And this particular client also suffers from severe anxiety.  He was never able to go back;  psychologically, he understood why they would do that (the church is in the city) but physiologically, he just couldn’t do it again.  I felt so bad for him.  Our church also has locked doors;  ropes, and people who shut you out, or trap you in hallways when you only meant to go to the ladies room quickly and get back in your seat before the whole room was sitting down.  I leave church exhausted.  And sad.  A lot of anxiety, and a lot of grief.  I wonder what God thinks as He observes all of this, done in His name? To inspire worship of Him?  To help us to see Him reflected in the lives of those who serve Him?  Because I don’t see it, not much, anyway.  I see organizational chaos. A lot of Very Important People running around with their headsets, and beepers, and pagers, very impressed with their roles and titles, but not really having a clue what they’re doing.  Or what they’re doing to people. Does God care?

Grief is a horrible, horrible feeling.  I am overwhelmed with it this week, and can’t write much.  A pacemaker would help.  My heart also beats too slowly sometimes, like my aunt.  My emotional heart also beats slowly, and sometimes bottoms out completely.  I have a meeting at church in an hour.  There was a wonderful gentleman who took my application for the Life Teams;  when he asked why I have not been involved in church, I accidentally blurted out “Because they do not want me.” And he threw his head back and laughed.  No, really;  that was the message left on my answering machine.  But I laughed too.  And said I want to be involved, and I do, my nerves don’t, and is there a place for me where nobody can see me?  I just want to help people;  to love those who hurt like I do, and tell them it’s okay.  It is all going to be okay.  They will be okay.  Time does not heal everything.  All healing takes time.  Some things will not heal, not in this lifetime.  Grief does not get better;  gone is, well, gone.  No therapy technique can fix a broken relationship, or heal a loss.  Only God can.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness….”   ~II Corinthians 12:9

When Success Fails

22 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Christian Living, Ephesus, God, Jesus, Lord, Nero, Pastor, Paul, Timothy

Saint George Preca has been likened as a succe...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes all it takes is one bad phone call with a creditor to make all of your dreams of success fly out the window.  Especially if the person is rude, or abusive.  (Are there any who aren’t?)  Threats and bullying do not magically make money appear in your account.  How in the world do these people sleep at night?

Many Americans are out of work;  housing, utilities, gas and food take most of our money.  Throw in some chronic health problems, or sudden illness or injury, and you have a mess.

It’s hard to remember that God is with us in our pain, not just on the other side of it.  I have been reading the book of 2 Timothy;  the letter Paul wrote to the young minister he had left in charge of the church in Ephesus.  Paul wrote the letter while he was in prison, knowing death was in the near future, while Timothy was dealing with everything from fear of Nero to church gossip.  Being young, not many thought he was capable of leadership.  Although he had a strong background of faith, he needed Paul’s encouragement and affirmation that he was called and anointed for the work of shepherding the people.

Our emotions can be stirred up by hearing or reading motivational material.  And it is good for us; it can give us a jump-start when we don’t have the energy to make necessary changes.  Encouragement helps.  A counseling session can be time well spent, if only for the emotional value of not feeling isolated.  It’s when you go home and face the bills, the phone calls, the expenses and repairs that you don’t have the resources for, that all of your motivation erodes.  Too much of it day after day, and you will end up in a hopeless cycle of despair.  It’s hard to remember that God is our provider;  our refuge and strength in times of trouble.  Even knowing he has miraculously provided in the past doesn’t always make fear go away.  It’s not as tangible as, say, an unexpected windfall that magically erases stacks of overdue bills.  Hard, but not impossible to persevere and stay the course, no matter what happens.  Laser-like focus is necessary just to keep going.  Like Paul we should be able to say:  “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.”  2 Timothy 4:7

 

Warfare in Wonderland

07 Friday Sep 2012

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Christ, Christian counseling, Christian Living, Christianity, Church, God, Gordon MacDonald, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Leadership, Ordering Your Private World, Religion and Spirituality, Strategy, Thought, Word

spirituality shelf

spirituality shelf (Photo credit: professor megan)

There is no greater protection against false teaching than knowing the Word. If you are not going to study it for yourself, expect to be led down a lot of rabbit holes, even in church. And just as God has a plan for your life, so does the enemy. Your best strategy is to study, pray, and stick to truth and common sense.

When I was in counseling, there were a lot of wacky forays into trendy territory that profited little and did more harm than good. Many of our local Christian counselors were caught up in the ‘recovered memory‘ phase that undermined marriage and family therapy in the eighties and nineties. Families were referred to as ‘dysfunctional’ and cutoff was encouraged. No mention of grace, mercy, or forgiveness. No allowances for differences of opinion or habit. Then along came the ‘boundaries’ phase, which was heavily endorsed by those with a strong need to control everything from relationships to conversations.

If I were the enemy, and couldn’t tempt people with obvious sin, wouldn’t it make sense to have a different strategy, aimed at people’s emotional vulnerabilities and unstable belief systems?

A few years ago, a friend had asked some of us to co-facilitate a group for mothers and daughters. Sitting in her beautiful living room, with our girls sprawled listlessly in front of us, we taught and encouraged each other. As my friend was speaking, she said something that seemed to stand out in neon lights in front of me. She said (to the girls) “Whatever demon has been following you [through life] has been keeping a notebook.” She was sitting on one side of the fireplace, and I on the other, and the words hung in the air between us. I don’t even think the girls were paying attention. That thought stayed with me, and over the next few weeks, I had several different experiences.

While driving one day, and thinking about what was said, I was suddenly in the Spirit. As I was on the highway passing the church, I suddenly saw a group of dark figures in a huddle, and realized they were talking about me. As I listened, I realized they were discussing strategy, and I was observing from the side. One of the figures suddenly said ” We’ll just do the usual.” And I suddenly got angry. The vision abruptly ended, and I thought “Really? Am I so predictable to the enemy that all he has to do is say “We’ll just do the usual” and it works?

After several days more thinking about this, it finally dawned on me [so to speak] to ask God to help me develop my own strategy to counteract the enemy, and strengthen myself spiritually.

Shortly after this experience, I asked God to reveal the names of these three figures who were exerting such influence on my life. What eventually came to me was Fear, Grief and Shame. No matter how hard I tried; no matter what effort I put into lists, plans, goals, and resolutions, I saw that I could be blind-sided by any one of these at any time. I suddenly saw it as a strategic plan to keep me from even remotely making progress in fulfilling the purposes of God in my life.

I have severe social phobia, which means that I am highly unlikely to head off to a bar, or casino for an evening of mindless fun. It also means that I generally make a complete idiot of myself whenever I leave the house and attempt any adult interaction, but it at least limits the trouble I can get into out in the world. (Well, except for the getting fired part.) If the enemy has a strategy for me, it almost always involves unwitting church leaders, counselors, and elders. As well-meaning as they are, they unknowingly play into a strategy that was developed long before they met me. The major themes of my life: shame, fear, rejection and grief, get played out in the church theater; the actual players may change, but not the strategy. At first, the only counter-strategy I could come up with was to just keep going and not quit. And this works, to some extent, but it makes for an awfully depressing life.

What is far better is to develop a strong and steady core, or center, where nothing, absolutely nothing, shakes you. A determination to be polite, kind, strong, steady and stable regardless of how others act or treat you. I have been reading a lot of Gordon MacDonald lately. Gordon is the editor-at-large for Leadership Journal; his writing is sincere and truthful. In the book Ordering Your Private World, he describes the day he ‘hit the wall’, and what this did to him spiritually. He goes on to write about the importance of developing your inner life to the extent that what happens publicly doesn’t derail you spiritually.

I have hit a lot of walls; I expect there will be more. The best strategy is to become so strong, and so focused on the end goal  (that final affirmation on the part of God: “Well done, good and faithful servant”) that no slight, insult or unkindness on the part of another affects us to the degree that we react in kind.  Forgiveness.  Grace.  Mercy.  These are our weapons;  the best strategies for peace in times of turmoil.  Always err on the side of love;  it disarms any weapon the enemy will try to use against you.

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