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Stacey L. Lacik

~ Common Sense Christian Counsel

Stacey L. Lacik

Monthly Archives: December 2012

Thoughts on a Recent Post

14 Friday Dec 2012

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Abuse, Christian Living, Christianity, God, Health, Mental health, Pastoral counseling, Religion and Spirituality, Spiritual abuse

Pastoral Paradise

(Photo credit: satosphere)

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my experiences with pastoral counseling, and how it all ended.  I would have to say that while I wrote about conflict of interest and confidentiality issues, what really ended my counseling was the counselor’s inability to control her temper.  Why I let someone control and label me to the extent that I did is an issue I need to examine for myself, but suffice it to say that this person controlled my life for ten years.  And for ten years I lived within the limits of that definition;  what basically amounted to the opinion of one person.  Just one person.

In some ways, I am still living with the residue of that relationship;  a lot of hurt, grief and confusion.  About who I am, who God is, and how He sees me.  This is why scripture says that “to whom much is given, much is required”.  When we are called to stand in the office of pastor, or teacher, we have a tremendous amount of influence.  Whether we want that much power or not, it is inherent in the relationship, and to deny that is to create situations where the elephant is in the room, but we just talk around it.

In many ways, this person functioned as an abusive parent, as most leaders with an anger problem do.  In my case, they took the place vacated by an abusive husband. I don’t know that I was in a position to see it in the beginning, and would probably have been too tired to care at that point.  And, like most abusive relationships, it wasn’t obvious in the beginning.  Confusing, but not obvious.  The problem with both is trying to figure out if I am messing up God’s plan for my life by leaving.  In the end, I didn’t have to figure it out, as both of them left me anyway.

There is a teaching series on spiritual abuse in the bookstore at church.  I listened to all of it, carefully, and was discouraged to find that it really has little or nothing to do with spiritual abuse, but is instead a discourse on proper attitudes towards leadership.   There is no mention of the abuse of power and authority, which is what spiritual abuse is.  There is no practical suggestion for how to deal with an abusive leader, nor is there any structure in place in our church for getting help.  “Touch not mine anointed”  is our version of “Don’t ask; Don’t tell.”

Leaders are human.  Like everyone else, they have tempers, good days, bad days, family issues, health problems and financial concerns.  They will, sometimes, completely fall short of their calling.  And we get the brunt of that in relationship with them.  I have never met a church member or client, myself included, who couldn’t forgive much when there is a sincere apology, and acknowledgment of wrong-doing.

I have to drive by my counselor’s office quite often, as I am running kids where they need to go, or going to get groceries.  There is always a car there;  she hasn’t died, or fallen off the planet.  She is still meeting with clients;  many of them friends of mine.  The whole thing is surreal.  And I’m realizing there will never be an apology.  There will never be an effort to make amends.  My stuff is still all in her office;  everything is, on the surface, as it always was.  Except that everyone can go there, including my friends, and get ‘help’ but I can’t. She isn’t speaking to me.  This blog hasn’t helped, as she was talking to me, until she read it.

Trusting God to help me with this has done a lot to keep me moving forward, but has in no way lessened the pain of it all.  I don’t really know what else to do.  I know that I don’t want any more angry people in my life, and I certainly will not pay someone to define and label me, ever again.

All I want for Christmas

12 Wednesday Dec 2012

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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miracles, Soul Healing

One of my greatest fears is that the Lord would remove His presence from me.

Would I still see beauty?  Feel joy?  Hear music?

christmas 2007

Would I recognize miracles, and angels?  Would there be any?

What would it be like to have no God-ordained moments in the worst of days, to remind me that He loves me, and is watching over me?

What would it be like to be on the outside looking in?

What I want for Christmas is the assurance that He will never, ever leave or forsake me.  That my sins are truly forgiven.  That there is grace, even for me.  In spite of my sins, my failings, my wanderings, and my lack of faith.  To know that no matter how far I fall, or fail, He is there.  This is all I want this year.

All Roads [Do Not] Lead to Rome

03 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

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Christ, Christian, Christian Living, God, Kingdom of God, Syracuse University, United Nations

Syracuse University - Hall of Languages

Syracuse University – Hall of Languages (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I went to a graduation ceremony up at Syracuse University tonight.  One of the speakers discussed the current state of the United Nations.  She also spoke about our individual responsibility to support this new global citizenship currently overtaking our world.  I was particularly interested, because Pastor Carter spoke on the same topic Friday night in his message on The Mystery of Lawlessness.  He discussed current worldviews, and the coming globalization of the economy and religious ideology, as pertaining to the end times, and the second coming of Christ.  The text was taken from II Thessalonians, chapter 2, regarding the events that will precede the return of the Lord to the earth.  There is more to this teaching than I can go into at this hour, but I would encourage anyone who missed it to get the CD and listen to it;  preferably with a notebook handy.

In the book The Second Coming of Christ, Yogananda said, “In titling this work The Second Coming of Christ, I am not referring to a literal return of Jesus to earth. He came two thousand years ago and, after imparting a universal path to God’s kingdom, was crucified and resurrected; his reappearance to the masses now is not necessary for the fulfillment of his teachings. What is necessary is for the cosmic wisdom and divine perception of Jesus to speak again through each one’s own experience and understanding of the infinite Christ Consciousness that was incarnate in Jesus. That will be his true Second Coming.”

There are many, many people who believe this today.  People who believe that in the ever-increasing improvement of the Self is the answer to their deep-rooted dissatisfaction with themselves.  This is what we’re up against as Christians;  how do we answer those who have educated themselves into oblivion when it comes to eternal truths regarding the nature of Christ, and the Word of God?  That all religions are not the same, and we do not all serve the same God?
While I was driving around campus trying to find a parking place, I passed (several times)  a man holding a huge sign that read  “Are you Ready?”  He was leaning against the wall of a building, and looked exhausted;  he certainly didn’t look ready for anything, much less the second coming of Christ.
Jesus will return to earth;  quite literally, as prophesied in the Bible.  Study to show yourself approved.  We are called to do two things as Christians:  defend the Truth, and overcome evil with good.  In the days to come, deception will so mirror truth, that even Christians will be easily confused if they don’t know the Word.  Satan seeks to build strongholds in our minds;  this way he can influence a culture, and ultimately the world.  Many well-meaning people have rejected the Truth of the Bible for the lies of world religions;  swayed by the seemingly innocuous teachings of kindness and tolerance.  Today’s thought leaders and gurus are tomorrows’ Antichrist, in spirit if not in person.  The fact is, someone will be, and Jesus will not be his assistant.  On the contrary, Jesus will triumph over him. (II Thessalonians 2:8)  And I intend to be ready.
“Sanctify them by the Truth, for Your Word is Truth.”  ~ John 17:17
"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you truly believe." -Gustave Flaubert

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