One of my greatest fears is that the Lord would remove His presence from me.

Would I still see beauty?  Feel joy?  Hear music?

Would I recognize miracles, and angels?  Would there be any?

What would it be like to have no God-ordained moments in the worst of days, to remind me that He loves me, and is watching over me?

What would it be like to be on the outside looking in?

What I want for Christmas is the assurance that He will never, ever leave or forsake me.  That my sins are truly forgiven.  That there is grace, even for me.  In spite of my sins, my failings, my wanderings, and my lack of faith.  To know that no matter how far I fall, or fail, He is there.  This is all I want this year.