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Stacey Lacik

~ Common Sense Christian Living

Stacey Lacik

Tag Archives: Jesus

Warfare in Wonderland

07 Friday Sep 2012

Posted by Stacey in The Journey

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Christ, Christian counseling, Christian Living, Christianity, Church, God, Gordon MacDonald, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Leadership, Ordering Your Private World, Religion and Spirituality, Strategy, Thought, Word

spirituality shelf

spirituality shelf (Photo credit: professor megan)

There is no greater protection against false teaching than knowing the Word. If you are not going to study it for yourself, expect to be led down a lot of rabbit holes, even in church. And just as God has a plan for your life, so does the enemy. Your best strategy is to study, pray, and stick to truth and common sense.

When I was in counseling, there were a lot of wacky forays into trendy territory that profited little and did more harm than good. Many of our local Christian counselors were caught up in the ‘recovered memory‘ phase that undermined marriage and family therapy in the eighties and nineties. Families were referred to as ‘dysfunctional’ and cutoff was encouraged. No mention of grace, mercy, or forgiveness. No allowances for differences of opinion or habit. Then along came the ‘boundaries’ phase, which was heavily endorsed by those with a strong need to control everything from relationships to conversations.

If I were the enemy, and couldn’t tempt people with obvious sin, wouldn’t it make sense to have a different strategy, aimed at people’s emotional vulnerabilities and unstable belief systems?

A few years ago, a friend had asked some of us to co-facilitate a group for mothers and daughters. Sitting in her beautiful living room, with our girls sprawled listlessly in front of us, we taught and encouraged each other. As my friend was speaking, she said something that seemed to stand out in neon lights in front of me. She said (to the girls) “Whatever demon has been following you [through life] has been keeping a notebook.” She was sitting on one side of the fireplace, and I on the other, and the words hung in the air between us. I don’t even think the girls were paying attention. That thought stayed with me, and over the next few weeks, I had several different experiences.

While driving one day, and thinking about what was said, I was suddenly in the Spirit. As I was on the highway passing the church, I suddenly saw a group of dark figures in a huddle, and realized they were talking about me. As I listened, I realized they were discussing strategy, and I was observing from the side. One of the figures suddenly said ” We’ll just do the usual.” And I suddenly got angry. The vision abruptly ended, and I thought “Really? Am I so predictable to the enemy that all he has to do is say “We’ll just do the usual” and it works?

After several days more thinking about this, it finally dawned on me [so to speak] to ask God to help me develop my own strategy to counteract the enemy, and strengthen myself spiritually.

Shortly after this experience, I asked God to reveal the names of these three figures who were exerting such influence on my life. What eventually came to me was Fear, Grief and Shame. No matter how hard I tried; no matter what effort I put into lists, plans, goals, and resolutions, I saw that I could be blind-sided by any one of these at any time. I suddenly saw it as a strategic plan to keep me from even remotely making progress in fulfilling the purposes of God in my life.

I have severe social phobia, which means that I am highly unlikely to head off to a bar, or casino for an evening of mindless fun. It also means that I generally make a complete idiot of myself whenever I leave the house and attempt any adult interaction, but it at least limits the trouble I can get into out in the world. (Well, except for the getting fired part.) If the enemy has a strategy for me, it almost always involves unwitting church leaders, counselors, and elders. As well-meaning as they are, they unknowingly play into a strategy that was developed long before they met me. The major themes of my life: shame, fear, rejection and grief, get played out in the church theater; the actual players may change, but not the strategy. At first, the only counter-strategy I could come up with was to just keep going and not quit. And this works, to some extent, but it makes for an awfully depressing life.

What is far better is to develop a strong and steady core, or center, where nothing, absolutely nothing, shakes you. A determination to be polite, kind, strong, steady and stable regardless of how others act or treat you. I have been reading a lot of Gordon MacDonald lately. Gordon is the editor-at-large for Leadership Journal; his writing is sincere and truthful. In the book Ordering Your Private World, he describes the day he ‘hit the wall’, and what this did to him spiritually. He goes on to write about the importance of developing your inner life to the extent that what happens publicly doesn’t derail you spiritually.

I have hit a lot of walls; I expect there will be more. The best strategy is to become so strong, and so focused on the end goal  (that final affirmation on the part of God: “Well done, good and faithful servant”) that no slight, insult or unkindness on the part of another affects us to the degree that we react in kind.  Forgiveness.  Grace.  Mercy.  These are our weapons;  the best strategies for peace in times of turmoil.  Always err on the side of love;  it disarms any weapon the enemy will try to use against you.

Recipes for Blessing in a Time of Battle

18 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Blessing, Christian, Christianity, God, Jesus, Pastor, Pastoral counseling, Prayer, Religion and Spirituality, Spiritual warfare, Word of Truth

List of breads

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last night the Pastor spoke about a vision he had a few years ago.  It concerned three angels;  one was holding a stopwatch, one was holding a trumpet, and the third was holding a sword in one hand, and three large books in the other.  This angel was preparing believers for battle (the sword) by providing instruction concerning “Battle Prayers”  such as Psalm 25, 26, 27, 37, and 51 to pray and declare over our lives; the second book was a book of “Songs of Thanksgiving” (which is a form of spiritual warfare) and  the third book was a book of specific instructions, like a cookbook.  The instructions are like recipes; to be followed exactly, not only for increasing blessing and prosperity in a time of battle, but  so that we can be prepared for the times to come.  For the people who will come.  For those of us who have been Christians for a very long time, much of this should be habit by now.  Because we are so unprepared and undisciplined, we live sloppy, unfruitful lives. Many in the Church are finding themselves going back to what they were taught in the beginning, and trying to make up for lost time, myself included. We are not yet ready.

Today I am making banana bread for the baby’s first birthday party.  I suddenly realized the cookbook was lying on the counter unopened;  I have made this so many times, and am so familiar with the recipe, that it’s now habit.  This is how familiar we should be with the Word of God;  the best strategy is to prepare before the battle: in times of peace, and prosperity.

I lost focus for a while;  grief caught me off guard, and while God sustained me emotionally and physically, my faith has been eroded with all of the ups and downs of life.  I feel that I was much stronger spiritually than I am now.  Not sure if it is due to depression, medication, or distraction, but the fact is I am not where I was.  A lot of it is due to the experience I went through in the church (hence the medication) but I do know that a lot of that was part of the enemy’s strategy to take me out of  a place I was called to.  It’s difficult to stay the course when things are said, or done that are not fair.  When people cause such pain that it leaves scars and memories that hurt and distract when you’re trying to keep focused.  It’s hard not to want to defend yourself, or run away.

The pastor also spoke about words, and the danger of idle words, or returning evil for evil.  Blessing someone who has done you great harm takes more strength than I have.  It also seems stupid.  Aren’t we supposed to assert ourselves, and confront those who irritate us?  Isn’t being compassionate kind of wishy-washy?

I realized a long time ago that I can be polite and still set boundaries.  I’m not good at it, but am aware of it.  It’s possible to be courteous to those who have been rude, or who have spread gossip, in an effort to impress those who have chosen them as leaders.  Those are the things we take to God, in our private and personal prayer time (or on the spot when necessary)  and leave on the altar before Him,  while getting our instruction for what to do next.  Right now, the instruction is to prepare:  to study the Word and get our lives in order.  But first I have to finish making the banana bread.

“Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth.”      II Timothy 2:15 (Amp)

In Retrospect

13 Monday Aug 2012

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Abraham, anxiety, Bible, Christ, cognitive therapy, Faith, God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, marriage, Pastor, Teacher, therapist

Barnes and noble

Barnes and noble (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, . . . nothing shall be impossible unto you.”   Matthew 17:20

Much of my life has been sabotaged by anxiety.  I was driving to Barnes and Noble last night, and decided to listen to Pastor Carters’ message from a couple of weeks ago on the way.  Two things have stood out to me in recent weeks.  One is that I do not truly understand the love of Christ for me.  Hear me out on this one, because it won’t make sense to those obsessed with doctrine, but I have loved God and His word for since I was a little girl.  What I have never been comfortable with is my relationship to, or with, Jesus.  In all honesty, I’m afraid of Him.  All of our cultural analogies (He’s a friend, a lover, a brother) make me uncomfortable.  The only role I’m comfortable with is that of Jesus as Teacher, as that one I can relate to. But as  the pastor was talking about Christ taking my place before God and bearing my sins for me; about being my advocate, I suddenly began to realize the mind of Christ towards me, and  the role He plays in my relationship with God as never before.  I cannot in all honesty fathom Christ actually praying for, or advocating for me, because I know me.  Nobody in their right mind would, and most of those who have promised to do so have jumped ship.

There are many books on the market, mostly geared toward women, that try to appeal to our sense of romance in order to illustrate our relationship with Christ.  Sorry, can’t relate to that either, having never been loved, or in love, for that matter.  (I did tell you the marriage ended, right?)  And those books make me uncomfortable.  Jesus as brother?  As peer?  As best friend?  I feel like Goldilocks;  nothing fits.  And, they seem to me to make Him less than in an effort to make Him approachable.  Less than Holy;  less than righteous;  less than the embodiment of the full power and authority of God.

When I was engaged to my husband, I was in spiritual torment.  There is a place marked and dated in my Bible, December 1, 1985.  It’s the story of Abraham in Genesis;  the supreme test of his faith, when God required him to lay his son on the altar. This particular day, while  I struggled with the knowledge that I should not be dating this person, I knew God was asking me to give this relationship up and lay it on the altar of my life.  What I failed to see until very recently, is that God provided a substitute when Abraham obeyed in spite of his broken heart.  I was so focused on what I would be losing (my only chance to have a relationship) that I never saw the whole story:  that in the end God provided something better.

The other thing that has stood out to me in the last couple of weeks has been the pastor’s encouragement to walk by faith, not by sight.  This will absolutely take  an act of the Holy Spirit,  as things don’t look very good right now.  In fact, the ship is sinking.  My hunch is that it will happen as a result of a growing awareness of God’s acceptance of me, and His willingness to provide a sacrifice in the form of Jesus.  While I have a difficult time with this, mostly due to our cultural clouding of who Jesus really is in relationship to us, I am aware of a growing understanding in this area of my life.  Without this understanding, walking by faith is extremely difficult, if not impossible.

So, those are my thoughts for the day.  Grow in the grace and knowledge of the sacrificial love of God, my friends.

The Promise of God’s Supply

04 Wednesday Jul 2012

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Book of Proverbs, Christ Jesus, Epistle to the Philippians, God, Jesus, Syracuse New York, The New Believers, Thessaloniki

 

Ruins at Philippi.

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“But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:19

Paul wrote this word of encouragement in a letter to the Philippians  around 64 A.D.  The church contributed to his support while he was starting the church in Thessalonica.  He did not ask them for help;  he supported himself by working, in addition to building churches and teaching the new believers.

Any new ministry or program takes time to develop;  in the beginning, a need is identified, and a plan of action is formed in the heart and mind of an individual to meet the need.  We usually call this vision.  Then there’s a time frame , in which soil is prepared, and seeds are sown.  In practical terms, this is when we research the where, when and how of the vision.  We look at sites, consider whether to rent or own, assess needed equipment and supplies, and how we’re going to pay for those items.  And here is where it all falls apart, because in finding resources, we have to put our dreams on the table and let others sift our motives and intent.  This part can be humiliating. Visions and dreams hidden in our heart may help us weather a storm, but they don’t change the world.

For years, I have had a dream of a faith-based counseling center located in Syracuse, where people can come and find hope, help and healing.  In the beginning, there was no structure to this vision, and the only thing that kept coming to me in the initial period after my divorce was “first establish your work in the field, and then build your house”.  Which for me meant get a degree, get qualified, learn my field of ministry, and whatever is required for me to have access to needed resources.  It also, in very practical terms, meant pay off any outstanding debt, and repair the ravages of my credit history after the divorce.  (Still working on this ; it will take a while, as we lost everything.)  Over time, a plan of action unfolded, which included services to be provided, and programs to be implemented.   Accessibility is key, because transportation is a problem for many in this city.  Focus on biblical solutions to common mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, traumatic stress and other issues will be a priority.  Families, as the ‘secondary client’ will also be served, as many of our problems are relational in nature.

So, where do I start?  Wherever God provides a place.  And we’ll go from there.

“[Put first things first.]  Prepare  your work outside and get it ready for yourself in the field;  and afterward build your house and establish a home.”   (Proverbs 24:27, Amplified)

 

Mary’s Christmas Dream

17 Saturday Dec 2011

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Christmas, Gift, God, Jesus, Joseph, Mary, Tree

Gerard van Honthorst Adoration of the Shepherd...

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“I had a dream, Joseph.  I don’t understand it, not really, but I think it was about a birthday celebration for our Son.  I think that was what it was all about.  The people had been preparing for it for about six weeks.  They had decorated the house and bought new clothes.  They’d gone shopping many times and bought elaborate gifts.  It was peculiar, though, because the presents weren’t for our Son.  They wrapped them in beautiful paper and tied them with lovely bows and stacked them under a tree.  Yes, a tree, Joseph, right in their house.  They’d decorated the tree also.  The branches were full of glowing balls and sparkling ornaments.  There was a figure on the top of the tree.  It looked like an angel might look.  Oh, it was beautiful.  Everyone was laughing and happy.  They were all excited about the gifts.  They gave the gifts to each other, Joseph, but not to our Son.  I don’t think they even knew Him.  They never mentioned His name.  Doesn’t it seem odd for people to go to all that trouble to celebrate someone’s birthday if they don’t know Him.  I had the strangest feeling that if our Son had gone to this celebration He would have been intruding.  Everything was so beautiful, Joseph, and everyone so happy, but it made me want to cry.  How sad for Jesus – not to be wanted at his own birthday party.  I’m glad it was only a dream. How terrible, Joseph, if it had been real.”      –Author Unknown

“Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,”  which is translated, “God with us.”            -Matthew 1:23

Hold the drama…..please.

03 Thursday Nov 2011

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Christ, Christian, Christianity, Common Sense Christian Counsel, Evangelism, God, Jesus, Religion and Spirituality, Testimonies

Jesus is considered by scholars such as Weber ...

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We spend an awful lot of time as Christians ‘casting out’ bad habits and ‘rebuking’ bad manners.  More often than not,  miracles come not in a dramatic scene in the front of the church, but in the privacy of our everyday lives.  Sometimes deliverance is a matter of getting out of bed,  making the coffee, opening the front door, and facing the world. It may be making a phone call,  an appointment, or actually opening the bills, and possibly even paying them. Not as romantic, maybe, but to the legions of demons waiting to stop us (lest, God forbid, we overcome those bad habits and actually do something with our lives) much more threatening.  Sudden miracles do not generally make for mature, wise people.

So, instead of screeching “I rebuke you!” with pointed finger, and mock authority to everyone who irritates us, let’s just relax.  A little bit.  Take a breath, count to ten, or whatever works for you, and let it go.  Save it for the real battles; they will come.  Tearing down strongholds is tedious work, and requires facing some harsh reality.  That shouldn’t mean being harsh with each other.  Or ourselves, for that matter.  A little grace goes a long way

“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God, to the pulling down of strongholds; casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God.” 

Urim and Thummim: Part Two

25 Friday Mar 2011

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Old Testament, Religion and Spirituality, Urim and Thummim

"Kirche Gröben" (big church), Brande...

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For those unfamiliar with the Urim and Thummim, I was thinking that a little background might help.

Urim comes from the Hebrew uwriym, which is the plural of uwr, meaning light, flame, or fire.  Uwr is from the root word owr, which means:  ‘to be or to make luminous; break of day; to give or show light; to be enlightened; to shine, or to set on fire.’

Urim literally means lights.

Thummim is from the Hebrew Tummiym, which is the plural of tom, meaning: ‘completeness; innocence; integrity; perfect, or uprightness.’  Tom is derived from the root word tamam, which means: ‘to complete in a [positive or negative] sense; to be perfect.’

Thummim literally means perfections or complete truth.

The words are translated various ways in different versions of scripture:  ‘Lights and Perfections’ ‘Light and Truth’ ‘Manifestation and Truth’ and ‘The Sacred Lots.’

The Urim and Thummim represent counsel, guidance [to determine order of priests] decisions, to receive answers.  The use of them were a right of the priesthood, to give counsel and direction from God.  They also represent judgement.

(See Exodus 28:30)

Speaking the Truth in Love

20 Wednesday Oct 2010

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Christ, Christia, Christian, Christianity, Common Sense Christian Counsel, Denominations, Ephesus, God, Health, Holy Spirit, HolySpirit, Jesu, Jesus, Lord, NLT, Paul, Reality, Religion and Spirituality

 

 

the Stainned Gless of depicting the Holy Spirit.

Image via Wikipedia

Truth should always be spoken in love.  Sometimes our intentions are misunderstood, and sometimes we do not understand our own motives for saying things.  Spiritual maturity is about being able to hear what someone is saying, and sifting it through the truth we know about ourselves, and then asking the Holy Spirit to reveal what we don’t know.  God is not out to humiliate, or embarrass us. We have to learn to take these situations and lay them out before the Lord and admit that we don’t know what to do.  Words that are spoken cannot be unspoken.  The most difficult thing to do is to go back and say “I’m sorry”.   When we have reacted by over-spiritualizing something, it’s even more difficult.  Most of the time we’re not being attacked  by demons, but by consequences.  A hard thing to admit, when our reputations are at stake.  Sometimes, truth hurts.  But healing is not possible unless truth is spoken in love.  This is the value in counseling.  If someone has known a great deal of harshness and unkindness in their life, it can be a tremendously restorative experience to have a person who treats you with love and respect.  A good counselor models the love of God to their clients, and teaches by example what grace and mercy look like in relationship.

So, where does that leave us?  For starters, let’s be gentle, kind, and forgiving with each other.  In his letter to the Ephesian church, Paul encouraged the new believers to speak the truth in love, for the express purpose of becoming more like Christ.  He said:  “Then we will no longer be immature like children.”  When we have a problem with another believer, we should go to them privately, and speak to them in a way that encourages growth and healing.  Children react defensively.  Not every situation is a ‘win-win’ situation, and contrary to popular opinion, this shouldn’t be our goal.  Love is.   Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let go of your need to be right;  to say, “You know what, I’ve hurt you, and I didn’t mean to.  I’m so sorry.  What can I do to make this right?”  Think of how many problems in the church could be avoided if love was our primary goal.  Right thinking may be accomplished by Truth alone, but no true soul healing occurs without love, in or outside of the church.

“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”  -Ephesians 4:15 NLT

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The Light that Shineth in Darkness…

28 Tuesday Sep 2010

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Bible, Christianity, Common Sense Christian Counsel, God, Jesus, Religion and Spirituality, Single-parent

Bavarian violet (Viola x bavarica), a hybrid b...

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For the first time since the end of my marriage, I have had a chance to stop and examine everything that has happened over the last ten years.  None of this is what I wanted, or expected, but God has been faithful, and everything the enemy meant for destruction, God has used for good.  I never expected to be a single-parent; but I also could not have foreseen having an Associate’s degree, or a Bachelor’s degree.  For the first time, I have the freedom to write, teach, counsel and mentor women to my heart’s content.  There has been a great deal of pain and grief, but there is a light at the end that shines brighter and brighter, and the path is beginning to open up to possibilities that were unimaginable ten years ago, or even five years ago.  God never wastes anything; He takes all of it- the good and the bad- and uses it for His intended purpose, and the light that shines out of the darkness is all the brighter for the fire.  And the treasure that comes forth is the light of lives changed, and restored beyond all that we could ask or think.

“…but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead…” Philippians 3:13

17 Wednesday Mar 2010

Posted by Stacey in Uncategorized

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Christ, Christian, Common Sense Christian Counsel, Death, Epistle to the Philippians, God, Grief Loss and Bereavement, Health, Jesus

Salix caprea

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The enemy always attacks a birth and a death.  If God is ‘birthing’ something in you, know that the enemy will do whatever he can to distract, discourage, defeat, and disarm you.  The enemy is strategic, and so you should be when it comes to protecting that which is growing and maturing inside of you.

A death for the Christian is always a new beginning- and this is why satan attacks  whatever dreams, hopes, and plans we abandon, or die to, in order to give all that we are, have, and hope to be to God.  We have a tendency to cling and hold tightly to that which is dead, or dying in our lives; the permanence of letting go causes grief, depression, and soul-pain beyond that which we feel we can bear.

But, as my daughter pointed out to me awhile ago, “you can’t go forward if you’re always looking backwards!” Be honest with God- ask for His help; letting go emotionally is a process.  So is emotional healing.  It happens over time, not overnight.

So, what are you holding on to?  What is God asking you to let go of?

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Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness. Luke 11:35

Berean Research

"Guard Yourselves in Steadfast Truth!"

Revolutionary Faith

Taking back Christianity

NAMI Syracuse

A Better Understanding

Michelle Borquez Thornton The Recipe Matters

Not just the ones you cook with but the ones you live by

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